Chris Paige oral history, 2019.

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    So this is Elizabeth Wittrig,
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    interviewing Chris Paige
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    on January 24th, 2019.
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    Chris, if you just want to go ahead
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    and start off by telling us when and
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    where you were born.
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    I was born in Lansing, Michigan, at
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    Sparrow Hospital
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    in November of 1971.
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    And can you talk about some of
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    your experiences growing up, what
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    your family dynamics were like?
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    I'm a I'm an only child, so
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    that tells you something.
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    And.
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    I was born into.
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    Let's see.
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    It's so open ended.
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    That's great.
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    I was an only child and we
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    went to church regularly.
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    I was baptized in the Christian
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    Reformed Church there in Lansing
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    and eventually
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    went to school at Lansing Christian
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    School, which was a private
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    Christian school
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    in that area. There's a lot of
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    Dutch and Christian Reformed
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    influence.
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    The Christian Reformed
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    Church headquarters is in
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    Grand Rapids, and my mom's side
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    of the family was
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    had landed there.
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    Mom went to Calvin.
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    And so there was
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    that was a lot of sort of the
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    connection that we had to the church
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    in Michigan was
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    Christian Reformed Church kinds
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    of stuff.
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    And so after
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    fifth grade, we moved to Louisiana.
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    And in Louisiana, there's not
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    that many Dutch people and there's
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    not that many Christian Reformed
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    people.
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    And so we ended up joining a
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    Presbyterian U.S.A.
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    church. And I remember the
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    the debut of the new logo that
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    I guess in hindsight was about
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    reunification.
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    If I have my facts right.
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    So I, I did confirmation
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    at Slidell Presbyterian Church
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    in Slidell, Louisiana,
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    which is just north of New Orleans.
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    At the time, it was a very
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    metropolitan kind of area because
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    folks were they built
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    the external tank for the space
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    shuttle in that in that area.
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    My mom worked for the computer
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    center associated with the building
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    of the external tank.
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    And so a lot of people were coming
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    from around the country.
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    Slidell was really kind of booming
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    at that time.
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    And, you know, so at
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    that sort of puberty level, I
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    started to be interested in Jesus,
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    had a good youth group, went
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    to Montreat, was feeling
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    really well connected.
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    And then the space shuttle
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    Challenger exploded
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    on national television,
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    and the booming of the external
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    tank building ceased.
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    And my mom wasn't expecting
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    to be laid off, but a lot of people
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    were. And it was definitely not.
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    I mean, she was going have to pick
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    up a lot of slack from other folk.
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    So at that point,
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    she began looking for work.
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    And so like literally I came back
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    from Montreat where I had this, you
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    know, amazing, of course, very
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    Presbyterian, but amazing
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    youth group experience and was
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    reading the Bible in the new way and
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    was feeling connected to youth group
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    community.
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    And I came home, they said, we're
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    moving to Northern Virginia
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    for Mom to take a new job.
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    And that really kind of was a
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    hit to the gut.
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    I mean, we had we literally said
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    Slidell will be your home town, like
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    sort of, you know, you were born in
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    Michigan, but you'll grow up in
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    Slidell and that's what you'll
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    know as your hometown.
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    And the the transition to
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    Northern Virginia was was rough.
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    I didn't connect as well at the
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    suburban Presbyterian Church
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    that we started attending, in youth
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    group cliques or like whatever it
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    was like it wasn't anything horrible
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    or horror story.
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    I just didn't connect.
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    How old were you?
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    When we.
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    Let's see. When we moved to Northern
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    Virginia, I must've been about
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    14.
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    I was going into my sophomore
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    year in high school,
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    and so I had three years
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    in Oakton,
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    Virginia, Vienna, Virginia,
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    at Oakton High School,
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    during which time I became an
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    agnostic.
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    I was like, God, if you're out
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    there, I know you understand
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    that I just want to be real with
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    you. And I don't know if you exist,
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    you know, like this was the kind of
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    conversation
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    that I had.
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    And so Dad's side of the, Dad had
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    grown up Catholic
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    and he had I remember
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    it was it was a big deal for my
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    mom's mom from my Dutch
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    Reformed grandmother.
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    Right.
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    Didn't like, was concerned about
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    the Baptist parts of the in-laws,
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    was concerned about the Catholic
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    parts of the in-laws.
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    And that sort of, in hindsight gives
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    me some insight into like how
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    how volatile those denominational
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    differences were.
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    Even just a generation before
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    that, we kind of almost forget about
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    these days,
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    but Dad essentially converted to
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    being Protestant at least,
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    and over time, you know, was
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    so involved in the Presbyterian
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    Church to be on session.
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    And actually
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    was a
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    policy advocate.
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    What do you call it?
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    Oh, man, my vocab, my
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    Presbyterian vocabulary is a little
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    bit tried right now.
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    The proposals
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    that we bring to General Assembly.
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    Overture advocate?
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    Overture. He was an overture advocate
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    at least one year
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    around gay and lesbian stuff.
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    So he had quite his own
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    journey of of making the tradition
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    his own.
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    So I went to college again in
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    basically Northern Virginia,
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    Fredericksburg at Mary Washington
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    College, which is now called the
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    University of Mary Washington.
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    I find that a little bit
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    pretentious, but I'm sure they had
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    good reasons.
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    I was very happy with it being a
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    college
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    at the time.
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    I played basketball from
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    junior high up through college, so
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    that was also part of what I was
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    doing, at a Division three
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    school playing basketball.
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    I triple majored.
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    I started out with math and computer
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    science.
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    My mom had become a
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    computer programmer, a database
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    analyst back when it was like
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    you couldn't study that in college,
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    right? Like you would learn it on
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    the job. And that's what they took.
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    She was a math major and learned
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    COBOL at the Lansing Board of
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    Water and Light.
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    In the seventies when you just
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    learned it on the job, you know, she
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    went from doing payroll
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    to learning COBOL
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    and something like 40 years later,
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    helped them shut down the COBOL
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    system to move into Oracle
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    or something. So.
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    So I grew up with,
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    you know, I guess genes in math and
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    computer science and experience
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    with. So I went to college doing
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    math and computer science, as
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    an agnostic and before
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    classes had even started,
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    I met
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    a girl.
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    I hadn't dated much through
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    high school. I mean, a little bit in
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    junior high, but like literally high
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    school.
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    I didn't go to proms or
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    like that I
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    didn't really have a reason why.
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    I didn't have an identity label
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    about why I didn't
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    continue with things that boys and
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    girls do in high school.
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    But it didn't resonate
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    with me.
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    But a few days before classes
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    started in college, there was this
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    girl, and we.
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    She became my best friend.
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    I'm going to leave her name off of
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    it.
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    She had been a Southern Baptist
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    missionary already
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    by the time and
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    did some more mission work
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    summers and even a semester over
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    time.
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    And
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    I fell in love.
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    We fell in love.
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    It was complicated.
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    I you know,
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    after the first semester,
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    I was I knew that I was
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    attracted to her and I knew that
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    she was Southern Baptist.
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    And it just didn't seem like
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    it would make sense.
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    And I started drinking more
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    at that point. And, you know,
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    athletes aren't supposed to drink,
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    but there's do and,
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    you know, so there's, I sort of went
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    in that direction.
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    I guess this is awkward.
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    I don't care about my story being
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    told. She probably cares about her
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    story being told, but
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    we did end up having a
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    relationship.
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    I maintain that she kissed me
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    because I never would have kissed
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    her, but she maintained that I
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    kissed her.
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    So who knows what happens when
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    closeted queer people
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    try to figure out their histories
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    in relationship within,
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    especially, a religious context.
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    In any case, I started
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    going to the Baptist Student Union
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    because this person I was
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    really attracted to and involved
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    with went there and there was
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    food. And
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    when you when you're in college, you
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    know, the people you like eating
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    together like is all you need.
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    It doesn't matter if you don't
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    believe in God too much.
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    And and it
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    was interesting. I'm still not a
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    Baptist. You know, there are certain
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    songs I can sing that are very
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    Baptist that I know from in
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    part from attending
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    large Baptist churches in
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    southern Virginia,
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    not even just Fredericksburg, but
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    going home to visit her family and
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    weekends. And, you know,
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    I we we
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    we were I will say we were we were
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    family. Whatever else you might
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    qualify about the relationship.
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    She stayed sometimes with my parents
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    during the summer when I wasn't
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    there, I visited with her family
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    after her wedding, when
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    she wasn't there.
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    You know, we we became family in
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    some sense of the word.
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    And had you talked to your parents
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    at all about your sexuality before?
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    No, I didn't
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    start coming out to anyone
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    until the fifth year of my
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    five years in college.
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    So this was a
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    solid four years
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    of not talking to anybody about
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    this relationship.
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    We
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    we we
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    ended up becoming roommates
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    sophomore year.
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    By the fourth year, we were sharing
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    a house with two other people off
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    campus, fourth and fifth year.
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    And so,
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    you know, I really
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    you know, some people say, oh, you
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    know, when I say she married a man
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    later, you know, after college,
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    and some
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    people say, well, she was clearly
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    closeted and didn't reconcile
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    it, make up stories about her.
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    And I'm like, no, I know that the
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    intimacy of our emotional
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    intimacy changed when she
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    met this guy and started dating him.
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    Like, I know that our relationship
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    changed.
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    And and so I really do believe
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    she fell in love with this other
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    guy. And,
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    you know, blessings on her for
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    the life that she's made with him.
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    But, you know, it was a kind of
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    twisted,
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    unhealthy, closeted
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    friendship slash relationship.
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    You know, we lived together and we
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    ended up doing laundry together and
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    buying groceries together.
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    And, you know, like there's just a
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    lot of intimacy, whether you're
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    physically involved or not that
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    happens. And so
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    so it was kind of a complicated time
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    in terms of my sexuality
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    that had emotional outcomes
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    with anxiety.
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    You know, what do you do with all these
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    emotions if you're not allowed to or
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    able to express them?
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    So there are some mental health kind
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    of challenges that came up in that,
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    sometimes involved drinking
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    to sedate that.
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    But but meanwhile, I
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    had started attending the Baptist
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    Student Union and I was like, this
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    God thing, there's something here
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    that I'm missing.
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    And I'm not a Baptist, but there's
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    something here that I'm missing.
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    And so there was an ecumenical
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    campus ministry called the
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    Campus Christian Community.
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    CCC was the initials,
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    and we went over there one time.
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    I said, Let me go try this not
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    Baptist thing.
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    And I remember
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    arguing about archetypes.
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    I thought they were stereotypes.
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    Like I didn't understand what
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    archetypes were because it's college
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    and you're learning things with this
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    guy. And I remember being in the
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    living room of that house and just
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    arguing about this.
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    And I was so sure and he was so
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    sure. And long term he was right.
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    But like, I was like, this is a
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    place where people can ask questions
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    and whatever that thing that's
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    missing is here too.
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    But like where I can bring my entire
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    brain to the conversation
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    in a way that I didn't experience at
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    the Baptist Student Union, that it
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    wasn't as critical thinking
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    oriented as it was.
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    And so
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    first, you know, I spent a year
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    being involved, then I was the
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    newsletter editor and then I was the
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    president of the Student
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    Council for the Ecumenical
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    Campus Ministry.
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    And so there was this coming back
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    to to religion,
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    coming back to Christianity,
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    making the tradition my own in a
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    fresh way. What does Trinity mean to
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    me? What does Incarnation
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    mean to me?
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    What does resurrection mean to me?
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    Lots of reading while
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    all that was happening,
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    and by the end of
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    that five year I spent five years in
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    college.
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    I had mono my sophomore year, so I
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    stayed to get my fourth year of
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    eligibility for basketball
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    and ended up adding a third major of
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    religion. So I did a full
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    math, computer science and religion
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    in five years and my
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    advisor convinced me not to add
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    classics because that would be
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    silly.
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    But I almost had the classics degree
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    by the time I took Latin for my
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    foreign language anyway.
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    So.
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    So by the end of college,
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    I had started
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    to come out to a few friends, like
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    the number you can count on your
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    fingers, like including my high
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    school basketball coach.
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    And I hadn't.
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    I don't think I had told my parents
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    yet.
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    No, I hadn't told my parents yet.
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    And I should ask them if they knew
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    about this relationship, like the
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    nature of the relationship in
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    hindsight
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    or not.
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    You know, I, I think I
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    and we believed that it was this
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    very carefully kept secret,
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    but I think it was probably more
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    obvious than we realized.
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    So my best friend from high school
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    when I wrote the coming out letter,
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    I am a lesbian.
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    I don't know if you knew.
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    She was like, Well, it's about time.
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    Like, that was her totally.
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    Her response was like, Thanks for
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    telling me.
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    Thanks for getting around to letting
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    me in on what was
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    so obvious.
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    So I just I find
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    those, those dynamics
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    to be kind of hilarious
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    but intriguing when we think about a
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    different decade
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    and a different generation of how
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    scary it was to
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    come out and how
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    much anticipation of judgment
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    even from those, you know,
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    folks that were like, Yeah, well,
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    duh.
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    But it's still quite scary.
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    So meanwhile,
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    there was this organization called
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    The Other Side Magazine
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    that was published out of
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    Philadelphia.
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    But the director's wife
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    was a sociology professor at my
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    college at Mary Washington,
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    and so they had an office in
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    Fredericksburg.
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    Two or three doors down from the
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    campus ministry house.
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    And they, that spring of my last
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    year, sent out a letter saying,
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    we're looking for volunteers in our
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    Fredericksburg office.
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    And I think it was just like, we're
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    going to throw this against the wall
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    and see if it sticks kind of
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    local outreach.
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    And I responded
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    and after a couple of, you
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    know, visits
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    to their, you know, their office
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    in their house, they said,
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    you know, we have this job opening
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    in Philadelphia.
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    You should really apply.
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    And I went back the next week and
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    they said, you know, you should
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    really apply for this job opening.
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    And so I did.
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    And I ended up getting this job as
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    assistant publisher of The Other
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    Side Magazine.
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    I, I had intended to do
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    my previous plan was to do
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    a volunteer and mission program
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    and had been looking at that.
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    And so the the almost
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    nonexistent salary that was offered
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    at this nonprofit was, you know,
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    better than a volunteer and mission
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    program would have been.
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    And I thought, let me spend a couple
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    of years working.
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    I wanted to be in the real world in
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    some fashion before going to
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    seminary.
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    I felt called to campus ministry.
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    And so let me do this real world
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    experience with The Other Side
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    Magazine.
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    Well, that lasted about ten years.
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    I long, long term
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    realized that seminary was not for
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    me, especially in the nineties.
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    I didn't want to go to seminary and
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    fight with people about
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    verses around sexuality or
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    I didn't want to train, you know,
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    train the people who are supposed to
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    be training me about how to treat me
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    well.
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    And at first it was like, not right
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    now. And eventually it became like,
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    No, I'm just not going to do this.
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    The Other Side was an ecumenical
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    publication.
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    It closed in I think 2004.
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    I left in 2003.
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    And and it was an extraordinary
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    educational experience.
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    So I didn't go to seminary, but I
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    was, you know,
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    working with folk
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    with Virginia Mollenkott and Irene
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    Monroe and with the Berrigans.
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    And, you know, so I was exposed to
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    Mennonites and Peace Churches
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    Quakers, Catholic workers,
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    kind of the best.
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    You know, it was a multi issue
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    magazine founded by white
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    folk who wanted to deal with racism
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    in 1965, but
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    expanded and, you know,
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    published
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    Christianity and Homosexuality
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    Special Issue in like 1978.
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    So, like really early grappling
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    with sexuality and the church
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    kind of issues.
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    One of my elders is John Linscheid,
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    who was a key gay,
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    cisgender gay man in the middle
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    of The Other Side's history
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    and did some important writing
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    at the time was Mennonite, defrocked
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    Mennonite pastor.
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    And so like that just it it
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    broadened my horizons in a lot of
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    ways about what justice means.
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    What does Christianity, Christian
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    tradition, what are some of the
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    resources in Christian tradition
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    around justice?
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    And meanwhile, you know, in those
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    years I was originally
  • speaker
    still grappling with like, what?
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    What about my call to ministry?
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    And I started
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    when I moved to Philadelphia, I
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    started attending Tabernacle United
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    Church, which is Presbyterian,
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    PC(USA), and UCC.
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    At the time it was the only More
  • speaker
    Light church in the state of
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    Pennsylvania, so
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    it wasn't hard for me to figure out
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    where to start. And I
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    settled in there
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    and they
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    invited me to preach my first sermon
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    and ordained me as an elder.
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    In my twenties, I'd have to do the
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    math to figure out how old I was.
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    And so I served on
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    council, a session there is called
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    council with the two
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    denominational kind of polity
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    and
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    was following Janie Spahr
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    around anywhere
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    I could drive to, you know, from
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    Bethlehem in Allentown,
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    Pennsylvania, down to Richmond,
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    Virginia, I would drive and of
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    course, conferences as well.
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    I joke that she's my homiletics
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    professor because I once saw
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    her preach the same sermon in three
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    different places to three different
  • speaker
    audiences, and sort of watching
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    how she adapted
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    it just a little bit to make more
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    sense to this mostly gay
  • speaker
    audience or this mostly
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    student population, or this
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    church that was considering being
  • speaker
    More Light and and,
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    you know, she'd be like, Oh, there's
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    Chris, you know, like she would see
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    me at the events and
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    and so, so yeah.
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    I very much consider Janie
  • speaker
    Spahr, one of my elders, especially
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    in my Presbyterian lineage.
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    In 1996, I went to
  • speaker
    the General Assembly in Albuquerque,
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    to basically see what the
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    Presbyterian Church had to say to
  • speaker
    me. I graduated from college in 94,
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    so I had been getting connected at
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    the local level.
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    I was an elder so to ten Presbytery
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    meetings,
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    and that was the year I think they
  • speaker
    passed Fidelity and Chastity.
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    And we, we marched in protest.
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    Uh, and.
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    You know, was exposed to and
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    connected to more
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    of the national leadership.
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    I think Laurene Lafontaine, Howard
  • speaker
    Warren was still alive then.
  • speaker
    Scott Anderson,
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    Janie, of course,
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    and I kind of heard what the
  • speaker
    Presbyterian Church had to say to
  • speaker
    me. And they said, We're not really
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    not interested in you.
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    And I when that overture
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    came to the Presbytery of
  • speaker
    Philadelphia, I remember
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    sitting with Roger Harless, who
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    my best understanding is he
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    defrocked himself from Presbyterian
  • speaker
    pastor-hood.
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    I remember sitting next to Roger
  • speaker
    Harless
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    at the Presbytery of Philadelphia
  • speaker
    meeting, and they and they passed
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    this overture. They ratified
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    this overture.
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    And then they wanted us to stand and
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    sing They'll Know We Are Christians
  • speaker
    By Our Love.
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    And it and it felt like
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    it didn't feel loving.
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    It felt like this military march,
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    and they'll know we.
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    Like it just felt.
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    I mean, it's kind of like it's not
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    such a Presbyterian song.
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    It's, you know,
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    Presbyterians are better with organ
  • speaker
    music, and that's not really a
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    thing. So it like maybe that's part
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    of it. But it just felt heavy
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    like it felt like they were trying
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    to make us happy about
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    this thing that was really ugly.
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    And certainly for me and my
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    experience was, was ugly.
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    And I don't think I went back to
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    another Presbytery meeting until
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    I was accompanying a pastor that we
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    were calling to Tabernacle through
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    committee on ministry and so forth.
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    So that was really a turning point
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    for me and my relationship with the
  • speaker
    Presbyterian Church.
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    And the
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    Tabernacle is is
  • speaker
    also UCC.
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    And so I was technically both a
  • speaker
    member of the Presbyterian Church
  • speaker
    and the United Church of Christ, and
  • speaker
    Nancy Crotty, who's a lesbian elder
  • speaker
    in UCC land,
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    who's local, she wasn't at
  • speaker
    Tabernacle, but she was local and
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    from from early on, however
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    we met. I'm not sure how we met.
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    Maybe I went to a UCC coalition
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    gathering locally.
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    She kind of adopted me as a baby
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    dike and she was like, You know,
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    you're UCC too.
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    She would remind me.
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    I'm like, No, I'm really
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    Presbyterian.
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    And you know, the Reformed tradition
  • speaker
    was really important to me and
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    education and creeds and writing
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    things down and constitutional
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    government like these were all like
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    values that I had
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    internalized, for better or worse.
  • speaker
    And she's like, Just remember,
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    you're also United Church of Christ.
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    And that's been a fascinating
  • speaker
    journey.
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    Long story short,
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    uh, as I grew
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    older, there
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    was a point at which Tabernacle
  • speaker
    stopped being
  • speaker
    a challenge to me.
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    Right? It stopped challenging the
  • speaker
    growing, challenging me where my
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    growing edges were.
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    And I continue to love and adore
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    that congregation still means the
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    world to me.
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    Figuring out church membership is
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    hard for me because like I never
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    wanted to leave Tabernacle, but
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    I wanted to be challenged to grow
  • speaker
    at the edges of my faith journey.
  • speaker
    And so now I'm a member of Living
  • speaker
    Water United Church of Christ,
  • speaker
    which is a predominantly African
  • speaker
    American congregation
  • speaker
    that was founded in an inclusive
  • speaker
    way.
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    And and I'm treasurer there,
  • speaker
    and I'm not sure that my
  • speaker
    a letter to transfer my membership
  • speaker
    has actually happened.
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    So I may technically be on the books
  • speaker
    of both congregations, which
  • speaker
    is in some ways, it's not
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    decent and in order, but in some
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    ways it's okay with me
  • speaker
    and represents where my heart is,
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    both both places.
  • speaker
    And so for me, being
  • speaker
    at Living Water is in part
  • speaker
    like wanting to be more connected to
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    a spirituality that's not still
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    stuck in my head.
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    I mean, I really do come from the
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    frozen chosen, like Christian
  • speaker
    Reformed Church. Even more than
  • speaker
    Presbyterian is very stiff.
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    And I grew up with the Psalter
  • speaker
    hymnal where the the music
  • speaker
    is organized according
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    to the the Psalms.
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    You know, hymn number one is based
  • speaker
    on Psalm number one.
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    And I think they've gotten over
  • speaker
    that. But like I come from
  • speaker
    like really organized people
  • speaker
    and you wouldn't want to have pictures
  • speaker
    to distract you from worshiping
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    God.
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    And so for me, being connected to my
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    body, being
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    physically embodied in worship,
  • speaker
    audibly, you know, not silent, not
  • speaker
    holding back emotions
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    like that's part of that growing
  • speaker
    edge that
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    I, you know, that Living
  • speaker
    Water gives to me,
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    supports me in a way that's
  • speaker
    different than Tabernacle could
  • speaker
    in a more predominantly white, still
  • speaker
    diverse, but predominantly white
  • speaker
    tradition.
  • speaker
    Yeah. So that's kind of how I
  • speaker
    landed, where I am.
  • speaker
    I left out a lot of parts along
  • speaker
    the way, but.
  • speaker
    But that's really where my Christian
  • speaker
    journey has, um,
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    has taken me through the years
  • speaker
    and I don't actually identify as
  • speaker
    Christian anymore.
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    I still identify as a witness to the
  • speaker
    resurrection.
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    That story
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    has a hold on my life.
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    And for, for better or worse,
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    whether I like it or not, like
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    that's a story that means something
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    to me
  • speaker
    and has changed my life.
  • speaker
    And so I identify as a witness to
  • speaker
    the resurrection,
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    and I identify as an animist,
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    which which is kind
  • speaker
    of a fuzzy term, especially
  • speaker
    for doctrinaire kind of folk who
  • speaker
    want to know exactly what things
  • speaker
    mean.
  • speaker
    So that's part of my growing edge as
  • speaker
    well, but it's really about
  • speaker
    relationships.
  • speaker
    And so maybe I'm a Christian
  • speaker
    animist. I don't know how I feel
  • speaker
    about that.
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    The animist part is more important
  • speaker
    to me now, but of course I worship
  • speaker
    regularly in a Christian
  • speaker
    congregation,
  • speaker
    but in a congregation that's very
  • speaker
    relational, right?
  • speaker
    That really Black church tradition
  • speaker
    is much more relational than white
  • speaker
    church tradition typically
  • speaker
    is.
  • speaker
    And so it really matters about being
  • speaker
    together with these people and being
  • speaker
    in community, being in a
  • speaker
    relationship with the rocks
  • speaker
    and the stones and the trees, being
  • speaker
    in relationship with the ancestors
  • speaker
    and the OtherWise
  • speaker
    and with the universe
  • speaker
    or creator or whatever
  • speaker
    words we want to say for all
  • speaker
    of things.
  • speaker
    And so I really kind of bridge
  • speaker
    what's typically considered more of
  • speaker
    a pagan perspective
  • speaker
    and a pretty traditional Christian
  • speaker
    Sunday morning experience
  • speaker
    in, in Black church kind of way.
  • speaker
    Um, so it's,
  • speaker
    I'm a colleague of mine,
  • speaker
    Louis Mitchell talks about
  • speaker
    trans folk being holy hybrids.
  • speaker
    And I really, I really embody,
  • speaker
    I really reflect that term
  • speaker
    being a holy hybrid, bringing
  • speaker
    different traditions
  • speaker
    together, being influenced by
  • speaker
    multiple Christian traditions, being
  • speaker
    influenced especially as a
  • speaker
    multi-faith organizer by different
  • speaker
    religious traditions and
  • speaker
    perspectives,
  • speaker
    and somehow trying to bring those
  • speaker
    together in my life and lived
  • speaker
    experience.
  • speaker
    And you've been I mean, this
  • speaker
    is going to be a broad question,
  • speaker
    but you've been an advocate for so
  • speaker
    many religious
  • speaker
    groups advocating for LGBTQIA+
  • speaker
    rights, but you've also worked some
  • speaker
    with secular organizations.
  • speaker
    Can you speak at all the where
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    you've kind of seen those two
  • speaker
    movements overlap
  • speaker
    and find common ground or where
  • speaker
    that's been very how you've
  • speaker
    kind of maybe brought religion in a
  • speaker
    more secular settings?
  • speaker
    Right.
  • speaker
    Well, I've I've ended up focusing
  • speaker
    really a lot more on the religion
  • speaker
    side. So LGBT
  • speaker
    organizing on average
  • speaker
    tends to be a secular world
  • speaker
    because the religious right did such
  • speaker
    a good job of defining the terms of
  • speaker
    the argument
  • speaker
    early on and
  • speaker
    and because there's so much
  • speaker
    religious abuse.
  • speaker
    And so a lot of folks say
  • speaker
    it was harder for me to come out as
  • speaker
    Christian than it was
  • speaker
    for me to come out as queer or
  • speaker
    trans.
  • speaker
    And so there are some real tensions
  • speaker
    within secular LGBT
  • speaker
    organizing about what's
  • speaker
    the proper place of religion.
  • speaker
    How do we deal with the abuse?
  • speaker
    How do we deal with some
  • speaker
    folk who are very actively
  • speaker
    religious or spiritual?
  • speaker
    Other folks were very actively
  • speaker
    non-theistic, have experienced
  • speaker
    abuse from religion.
  • speaker
    How do we really hold in tension how
  • speaker
    important it is for some
  • speaker
    of us and how hard it is for some of
  • speaker
    us?
  • speaker
    Some of us both, right?
  • speaker
    Hard for us and important to us.
  • speaker
    So it's it's a complicated
  • speaker
    intersection.
  • speaker
    I feel like things have changed in
  • speaker
    the last decade or so
  • speaker
    as LGBT
  • speaker
    organizing.
  • speaker
    And I have to say,
  • speaker
    the role of people of color bring
  • speaker
    in the movement changes that.
  • speaker
    So I feel like white folk tend to be
  • speaker
    on average gross generalizations,
  • speaker
    more iconoclastic, like if you're
  • speaker
    going to reject religion, you're
  • speaker
    going to reject it entirely.
  • speaker
    Whereas many people
  • speaker
    of color come from not just Black
  • speaker
    church traditions, but African
  • speaker
    diaspora traditions, Native
  • speaker
    traditions,
  • speaker
    and and have been able to bring
  • speaker
    a different kind of spirituality
  • speaker
    that's not so iconoclastic,
  • speaker
    even if it's Christian, it's not
  • speaker
    the same kind of Christian
  • speaker
    in tone or tenor or intent.
  • speaker
    And so, how do we nurture
  • speaker
    resilience?
  • speaker
    How do we nurture resistance?
  • speaker
    Of course Black church traditions
  • speaker
    have centuries of
  • speaker
    experience, right, in
  • speaker
    resisting white supremacy.
  • speaker
    And so there's this
  • speaker
    marvelous in my experience,
  • speaker
    I've learned so much.
  • speaker
    And I always feel like I want to
  • speaker
    credit my people of
  • speaker
    color, elders and
  • speaker
    prophets and friends and colleagues
  • speaker
    who have taught me more right about
  • speaker
    being present to spirit in
  • speaker
    a different way, being
  • speaker
    present to those conflicts
  • speaker
    in a different way.
  • speaker
    And I'm still on a learning journey
  • speaker
    through that. But but I feel like
  • speaker
    the movement LGBT organizing
  • speaker
    has it's much more complicated
  • speaker
    now because we have lots of factions
  • speaker
    within LGBT organizing,
  • speaker
    but there's certainly a stronger and
  • speaker
    more visible
  • speaker
    and I should mostly say more
  • speaker
    visible, right? Because it's always
  • speaker
    been there
  • speaker
    but is more visible in the
  • speaker
    mainstream or social media
  • speaker
    and all the ways that we interact
  • speaker
    now in a different way.
  • speaker
    And so, you know, I came
  • speaker
    up in
  • speaker
    right Presbyterians for Lesbian and
  • speaker
    Gay Concerns
  • speaker
    was my people initially
  • speaker
    and
  • speaker
    Christian Lesbians Out connected me
  • speaker
    to a range of
  • speaker
    lesbian feminist radical
  • speaker
    justice seeking women.
  • speaker
    And so that was a little bit broader
  • speaker
    community ecumenically.
  • speaker
    And so I certainly count in my
  • speaker
    lineage folk who have influenced
  • speaker
    me, folk like Virginia Mollenkott or
  • speaker
    Carter Heyward, Beverly Harrison
  • speaker
    and the CLOUT women who I
  • speaker
    got to know through those
  • speaker
    conferences.
  • speaker
    And really
  • speaker
    important, Melanie Morrison,
  • speaker
    who's become a mentor.
  • speaker
    I did anti-racism training with her
  • speaker
    and really appreciate the ways that
  • speaker
    she brings whiteness
  • speaker
    and anti-racism work to
  • speaker
    the conversation as an openly
  • speaker
    lesbian, UCC pastor
  • speaker
    or clergy woman.
  • speaker
    And so, so this is like,
  • speaker
    again, something that I wrestled
  • speaker
    with in my holy hybridness.
  • speaker
    And so there's just like Tabernacle
  • speaker
    couldn't quite help me grow
  • speaker
    once I reached a certain point of
  • speaker
    fullness in myself that I wanted to
  • speaker
    continue to grow, and they weren't
  • speaker
    weren't at that edge.
  • speaker
    It was like my white Christian
  • speaker
    folk who made me who I am in so
  • speaker
    many ways
  • speaker
    and helped me come out of shame and
  • speaker
    internalized homophobia and these
  • speaker
    kinds of things.
  • speaker
    I began pushing
  • speaker
    an edge that they didn't quite have.
  • speaker
    And that it makes for a complicated
  • speaker
    way for me,
  • speaker
    thinking about my lineage.
  • speaker
    So part of what happened
  • speaker
    in 1998,
  • speaker
    I started looking at my gender
  • speaker
    identity.
  • speaker
    It was actually through a women's
  • speaker
    group at Tabernacle that I
  • speaker
    co-founded, and we were talking
  • speaker
    about shadow work.
  • speaker
    And I realized that my shadow
  • speaker
    wasn't my masculine side, it was
  • speaker
    my feminine side, my drag persona,
  • speaker
    that when I dress up in a dress, it
  • speaker
    was kind of shadow work for
  • speaker
    me and made me feel a little
  • speaker
    uncomfortable and a little excited.
  • speaker
    And I was like,
  • speaker
    if if dressing up in a dress,
  • speaker
    in the bridesmaid's dress from this
  • speaker
    first girlfriend's wedding,
  • speaker
    if that makes me feel kind of funny
  • speaker
    like that, what does that mean about
  • speaker
    who I am when I'm not doing shadow
  • speaker
    work?
  • speaker
    And
  • speaker
    and so I started looking at this
  • speaker
    gender thing and ended up creating a
  • speaker
    website called Trans Faith Online, a
  • speaker
    little free Angelfire website.
  • speaker
    With what I was able to gather, I
  • speaker
    reached out to these LGBT
  • speaker
    organizations to Integrity and UCC
  • speaker
    Coalition and More Light and
  • speaker
    Reconciling and was like, Where's
  • speaker
    the gender stuff?
  • speaker
    Who do I talk to?
  • speaker
    What are the books?
  • speaker
    You know, where are the articles?
  • speaker
    And they were all like to the degree
  • speaker
    that they responded.
  • speaker
    They were like, we don't know any
  • speaker
    trans people and we don't have any
  • speaker
    resources.
  • speaker
    And it seems that they had just
  • speaker
    added transgender to their mission
  • speaker
    statement. I mean, well-meaning,
  • speaker
    adding to their mission statement
  • speaker
    and names
  • speaker
    because funders started to require
  • speaker
    it and because this
  • speaker
    was a topic that was starting to
  • speaker
    come up. But it wasn't because they
  • speaker
    had experience or knew people.
  • speaker
    At the time Erin Swenson,
  • speaker
    who had sustained her ordination in
  • speaker
    the Atlanta Presbytery
  • speaker
    as a Presbyterian clergy person,
  • speaker
    was kind of the only
  • speaker
    openly trans
  • speaker
    religious leader that was out there.
  • speaker
    Kate Bornstein and Leslie Feinberg
  • speaker
    were really important authors in the
  • speaker
    nineties.
  • speaker
    They weren't explicitly religious,
  • speaker
    although they both have Jewish and
  • speaker
    Kate had a Scientology background.
  • speaker
    But just as sort of that radical
  • speaker
    resistance kind of spirituality
  • speaker
    and acknowledging our ancestors kind
  • speaker
    of thing. So what I
  • speaker
    what I was able to find from folk on
  • speaker
    the Internet, I put on
  • speaker
    to this little website
  • speaker
    and and the next year I
  • speaker
    got married.
  • speaker
    It was a commitment ceremony because
  • speaker
    women weren't able to get married
  • speaker
    at that time in U.S.
  • speaker
    history in 2000.
  • speaker
    And so this trans faith website kind
  • speaker
    of got set aside a little bit.
  • speaker
    I had connected with folks.
  • speaker
    I had figured out that I identified
  • speaker
    as trans, identified as OtherWise,
  • speaker
    which is otherwise with a capital
  • speaker
    W in the middle of it,
  • speaker
    non-binary gender.
  • speaker
    But also I
  • speaker
    didn't have language for what else
  • speaker
    it meant at the time.
  • speaker
    It was a word that was given to me
  • speaker
    in the mountains,
  • speaker
    in an animist kind of way.
  • speaker
    And it's taken me 20 years to start
  • speaker
    to have more language about what
  • speaker
    that means. And it means being,
  • speaker
    you know, resisting the
  • speaker
    colonization.
  • speaker
    Right. So resisting white supremacy,
  • speaker
    resisting Christian supremacy
  • speaker
    and being non-binary in gender
  • speaker
    for me, being connected
  • speaker
    to my ancestors and OtherWise to
  • speaker
    folk who have come before me
  • speaker
    in an animist kind of way.
  • speaker
    All of that is bound
  • speaker
    up in this OtherWise identification
  • speaker
    that I have, and I'm
  • speaker
    continuing to unfold
  • speaker
    in my own understanding.
  • speaker
    Right. Again, very much influenced
  • speaker
    by people of color and indigenous
  • speaker
    traditions,
  • speaker
    but acknowledging that I come from
  • speaker
    European roots,
  • speaker
    right?
  • speaker
    And Christian upbringing, and that
  • speaker
    I'm not, like I don't feel called
  • speaker
    to become embedded
  • speaker
    in an indigenous tradition.
  • speaker
    I believe that we as white folk,
  • speaker
    as European descent
  • speaker
    folk who who carry this
  • speaker
    lineage of Christian supremacy,
  • speaker
    need to do our own work to unpack
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    and decolonize the traditions that
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    we've been given.
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    And for me, OtherWise, is that
  • speaker
    is that language that starts to say
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    this is actually a pretty European
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    word and it evokes the
  • speaker
    binary. Right?
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    You have this otherwise that,
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    like this or that,
  • speaker
    but that there's also a third way,
  • speaker
    right, that I originally learned
  • speaker
    from peace activists that there's a
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    third way to violent engagement.
  • speaker
    There's other ways to resist and
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    do something different than
  • speaker
    buy into the script that says you
  • speaker
    have to be for or against
  • speaker
    whatever the thing is.
  • speaker
    And so, so all these threads,
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    right, weave together for me
  • speaker
    and,
  • speaker
    and in 2007,
  • speaker
    the, I guess it's the Presbyterian
  • speaker
    Women's Committee?
  • speaker
    The National
  • speaker
    contacted me and said, we want to
  • speaker
    we're going to be in Philadelphia
  • speaker
    and we want to do a training on
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    transgender issues.
  • speaker
    Would you lead us
  • speaker
    in this session?
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    Sure. And so I hadn't really.
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    I'd been busy for
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    doing other very dramatic things
  • speaker
    in my life for the past
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    eight years.
  • speaker
    But I was like, sure.
  • speaker
    So let me Google, at this point we
  • speaker
    had Google. Before we didn't have
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    Google.
  • speaker
    I Googled transgender Christian to
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    see like what I had missed
  • speaker
    while I was distracted doing other
  • speaker
    things.
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    And and the number one
  • speaker
    search result on Google
  • speaker
    in 2007
  • speaker
    for transgender Christian was Trans
  • speaker
    Faith Online, was my website
  • speaker
    that I hadn't touched in eight years
  • speaker
    that had broken links like half the
  • speaker
    content wasn't even there anymore.
  • speaker
    And I was the number one search
  • speaker
    result and I was like, Wow,
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    like what's been happening for eight
  • speaker
    years that I'm still
  • speaker
    at the top of these search results.
  • speaker
    And we could talk about Google
  • speaker
    algorithms and whatnot, but
  • speaker
    I did that session.
  • speaker
    But it was part of a call, you know,
  • speaker
    the spirit sort of coming in and
  • speaker
    tapping me on the shoulder and
  • speaker
    saying, you remember this?
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    You remember this transgender thing
  • speaker
    that you got clarity about in
  • speaker
    years ago? It's time for you to go
  • speaker
    back to that thing.
  • speaker
    And another,
  • speaker
    you know, a funder presented
  • speaker
    themselves like I was facilitating a
  • speaker
    retreat in New Jersey with
  • speaker
    Methodists,
  • speaker
    and we were doing asset based
  • speaker
    community development just going
  • speaker
    around the circle like, what do you
  • speaker
    love to do? What do you want to
  • speaker
    offer to the world?
  • speaker
    Instead of saying, How do we
  • speaker
    raise money to do such a thing?
  • speaker
    You know? And so one person said, I,
  • speaker
    I feel moved to share that I have a
  • speaker
    family foundation.
  • speaker
    And that became
  • speaker
    the first funder for Trans Faith
  • speaker
    Online.
  • speaker
    And I relaunched the website on a
  • speaker
    content management system, which
  • speaker
    was not something
  • speaker
    people did at that time.
  • speaker
    Right now, now we have blogs and,
  • speaker
    you know, this was still Web
  • speaker
    1.0.
  • speaker
    And so moving it to a content
  • speaker
    management system was kind of a big
  • speaker
    investment. And
  • speaker
    and then I finally started really
  • speaker
    meeting transgender people.
  • speaker
    And in like 2008, as I networked
  • speaker
    the new website, I started
  • speaker
    getting invited to, you know,
  • speaker
    there's a Transgender Relief
  • speaker
    Religious Leaders Summit in
  • speaker
    Berkeley.
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    It was actually the second one, and
  • speaker
    I was invited to present there.
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    I was invited to the Fellowship of
  • speaker
    Affirming Ministry, Bishop Flunder
  • speaker
    invited me to present at their
  • speaker
    leaders convocation
  • speaker
    and the Fellowship and Bishop
  • speaker
    Flunder have been really important
  • speaker
    part of my journey again with sort
  • speaker
    of Black church tradition,
  • speaker
    but more so just friends
  • speaker
    and colleagues that have helped me
  • speaker
    to grow and new and different ways.
  • speaker
    Bishop Flunder introduced me to
  • speaker
    Louis Mitchell.
  • speaker
    She sort of instigated a group
  • speaker
    called Trans Saints, which
  • speaker
    is the Transgender Ministry of the
  • speaker
    Fellowship of Affirming Ministries.
  • speaker
    And Fellowship is mostly
  • speaker
    Black neo-Pentecostal, uh,
  • speaker
    gay, lesbian and some trans
  • speaker
    folk around the country
  • speaker
    and around the world. They have
  • speaker
    ministry in Africa and
  • speaker
    Asia and Mexico
  • speaker
    and places.
  • speaker
    So a really broad reach.
  • speaker
    And so Trans Saints, the initial
  • speaker
    configuration, they changed the
  • speaker
    configuration pretty quickly after
  • speaker
    that. But the initial configuration
  • speaker
    from the first meeting was that
  • speaker
    there would be an advocacy committee
  • speaker
    and some other committees.
  • speaker
    And she said, Chris and L.J., you
  • speaker
    work on the advocacy
  • speaker
    committee.
  • speaker
    L.J.
  • speaker
    now goes by Louis Mitchell
  • speaker
    and we became fast friends like,
  • speaker
    you know, separated at birth kind of
  • speaker
    level, level of siblinghood.
  • speaker
    And we would share a room
  • speaker
    at Fellowship events and get
  • speaker
    to know each other better.
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    And at this
  • speaker
    point, it's, it's it's not been
  • speaker
    ten years that we've known each
  • speaker
    other, but we,
  • speaker
    we were volunteered on different
  • speaker
    groups together and eventually said,
  • speaker
    you know, we really need to build an
  • speaker
    independent trans organization
  • speaker
    to to deal with these issues because
  • speaker
    it's really not working to try to do
  • speaker
    trans under the umbrella
  • speaker
    of LGBT organizing like trans
  • speaker
    folk have specific
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    different needs.
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    Expertise about trans issues just
  • speaker
    really isn't present in the
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    cisgender leadership of LGBT
  • speaker
    organizations, even when they're
  • speaker
    trying.
  • speaker
    And we need to be more independent
  • speaker
    in how we operate.
  • speaker
    And so in 2012,
  • speaker
    we launched
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    I became the founding executive
  • speaker
    director of Trans Faith, the
  • speaker
    organization, as opposed to just a
  • speaker
    website.
  • speaker
    And after six years, I stepped down
  • speaker
    and Louis became executive director.
  • speaker
    So he's currently the executive
  • speaker
    director of Trans Faith,
  • speaker
    the organization.
  • speaker
    And so that's a a continuing
  • speaker
    journey. And so between the
  • speaker
    website and Trans Faith, I've been
  • speaker
    privileged to know
  • speaker
    in really close
  • speaker
    behind the scenes kinds of ways,
  • speaker
    the stories of lots
  • speaker
    of transgender, spiritual
  • speaker
    and cultural workers
  • speaker
    in a multiracial kind of way have
  • speaker
    learned from two spirit
  • speaker
    Native folk of trans
  • speaker
    experience,
  • speaker
    have learned from transgender Jews
  • speaker
    about Hebrew Scripture in
  • speaker
    a way that Christians just don't
  • speaker
    get it right and
  • speaker
    have have learned from
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    transgender Buddhist teachers,
  • speaker
    you know, work with transgender
  • speaker
    Muslims just like
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    this amazing rich
  • speaker
    experience, which, you know, I
  • speaker
    founded a student interfaith dialog
  • speaker
    group in college, you know, for
  • speaker
    a couple of semesters.
  • speaker
    And I in Philadelphia,
  • speaker
    I founded the Yes Coalition, not
  • speaker
    co-founded, I worked with the Yes
  • speaker
    Coalition. I didn't found it,
  • speaker
    but became the coordinator of it and
  • speaker
    so had multi-faith
  • speaker
    relationships here in an
  • speaker
    LGBT context.
  • speaker
    But Trans Faith, really
  • speaker
    the national network of folk
  • speaker
    and the privilege of really hearing
  • speaker
    like what's real, like what's going
  • speaker
    on? Not just not just what
  • speaker
    you post on Facebook, not just
  • speaker
    what the conference headlines say,
  • speaker
    but like what was really going on
  • speaker
    behind the scenes in your life
  • speaker
    and the struggles and challenges?
  • speaker
    And how does God
  • speaker
    or Dharma practice
  • speaker
    or whatever have to do with whatever
  • speaker
    it is that's going on?
  • speaker
    Like that has been profound and
  • speaker
    powerful for me.
  • speaker
    Yeah, that's been really important
  • speaker
    as well as specifically
  • speaker
    people of color.
  • speaker
    And so I you know, between Louis
  • speaker
    being an important part of my life,
  • speaker
    Fellowship and other contacts
  • speaker
    with people of
  • speaker
    color organizers, you know,
  • speaker
    there's this other lineage.
  • speaker
    So like I started this talking about
  • speaker
    my Presbyterian and white
  • speaker
    Christian, you know, queer
  • speaker
    lineage that, you know, Miss
  • speaker
    Major, who was at Stonewall is a
  • speaker
    Black trans woman
  • speaker
    is is Mother Major to me
  • speaker
    now and and Jonathon
  • speaker
    Thunderword, who
  • speaker
    Louis Mitchell counts father
  • speaker
    figure right um
  • speaker
    is is my elder and so
  • speaker
    there's this tradition of especially
  • speaker
    Black trans organizing
  • speaker
    and resistance and resilience
  • speaker
    that's also a part of my lineage.
  • speaker
    Now, I'm not Black, I don't pretend
  • speaker
    to be Black, but
  • speaker
    they were doing things when I didn't
  • speaker
    know they existed.
  • speaker
    And this is why I talk about like
  • speaker
    they're more visible now.
  • speaker
    But they were doing the work.
  • speaker
    Jonathon and Major were doing the
  • speaker
    work in the nineties.
  • speaker
    I've got written proof of that.
  • speaker
    But that doesn't mean that people
  • speaker
    like me over in our little Christian
  • speaker
    ivory towers knew
  • speaker
    what it meant for them to help folks
  • speaker
    survive
  • speaker
    in that same time.
  • speaker
    And so now I've had the privilege to
  • speaker
    sit with those folk and be in
  • speaker
    relationship with those folk and
  • speaker
    learn from those folk.
  • speaker
    And, and that's
  • speaker
    that changes me, right?
  • speaker
    And so it's it's hard for me to
  • speaker
    figure out how to talk.
  • speaker
    A lot of times when we tell the
  • speaker
    story of LGBT
  • speaker
    Christian organizing and we did this
  • speaker
    at an event in St. Louis
  • speaker
    a year and a half ago or so.
  • speaker
    Mark Bowman's doing a great job with
  • speaker
    the LGBT Religious Archives Network
  • speaker
    and put on a conference in St. Louis
  • speaker
    to sort of gather Christian elders,
  • speaker
    impart, you know, before folk pass
  • speaker
    on.
  • speaker
    And I was invited as a trans elder,
  • speaker
    and it was it was just
  • speaker
    extraordinarily awkward for
  • speaker
    me because I really
  • speaker
    do look up to
  • speaker
    folk like Carter and Virginia and
  • speaker
    Janie and Melanie that came before
  • speaker
    me on this white Christian lineage.
  • speaker
    But when we tell the story
  • speaker
    that people of color came
  • speaker
    later, when we tell the
  • speaker
    story that trans folk came later,
  • speaker
    I'm like, That's my family, too.
  • speaker
    Those are my elders, too.
  • speaker
    And and then
  • speaker
    there's this challenge for me of how
  • speaker
    do I talk about both lineages,
  • speaker
    give honor to both lineages, and be
  • speaker
    clear, just because I didn't meet
  • speaker
    Major or Jonathon until
  • speaker
    years later
  • speaker
    doesn't mean they weren't doing the
  • speaker
    work. They were there
  • speaker
    on the front lines, even more
  • speaker
    so
  • speaker
    in all kinds of ways.
  • speaker
    And and so I think it's really
  • speaker
    important as we think about history,
  • speaker
    right, that there are parallel
  • speaker
    histories and
  • speaker
    and white supremacy
  • speaker
    and Christian supremacy means that
  • speaker
    white Christian history tends to be
  • speaker
    told in in a
  • speaker
    dominant way.
  • speaker
    But those other histories are there.
  • speaker
    And we need to know and actually,
  • speaker
    you know, especially in times like
  • speaker
    these, with the kind of president
  • speaker
    that we have and uprisings
  • speaker
    of white supremacy,
  • speaker
    the reckless abandon
  • speaker
    of white supremacy these days,
  • speaker
    there's so much that we need to
  • speaker
    learn from folk who have been
  • speaker
    resisting for generations.
  • speaker
    Right? Like that's a legacy that
  • speaker
    we as white Christians need
  • speaker
    to know different ways of resisting
  • speaker
    when we don't have that kind of
  • speaker
    institutional power.
  • speaker
    The wisdom is there.
  • speaker
    The question is whether we honor it
  • speaker
    or whether we try to start from
  • speaker
    scratch or pretend we invented it,
  • speaker
    or like all the other ways we can
  • speaker
    appropriate knowledge and wisdom.
  • speaker
    And so,
  • speaker
    so. So yeah.
  • speaker
    So this, this trans organizing has
  • speaker
    been such a blessing in my
  • speaker
    life in terms of the extraordinary
  • speaker
    people. With one friend I talk about
  • speaker
    four and five dimensional people,
  • speaker
    right? Like it's not just that folk
  • speaker
    are organizing around
  • speaker
    trans gender identity.
  • speaker
    They're not just organizing around
  • speaker
    race. They're not just organizing
  • speaker
    around religion,
  • speaker
    like four and five dimensional
  • speaker
    people who integrate all of these
  • speaker
    things into our lives.
  • speaker
    And I want to be a four
  • speaker
    or five dimensional person, right?
  • speaker
    That I'm not just a one issue
  • speaker
    kind of person that like how do we
  • speaker
    talk about the borderlands and
  • speaker
    immigration and how does that relate
  • speaker
    to gender identity?
  • speaker
    And how does disability justice
  • speaker
    and understanding our bodies relate
  • speaker
    to transgender issues?
  • speaker
    And it's all connected.
  • speaker
    Like in the end it's all connected.
  • speaker
    And it's extraordinary when
  • speaker
    you can apprehend those connections.
  • speaker
    It's so rich.
  • speaker
    And yet that's not how the
  • speaker
    conversation is typically
  • speaker
    framed. We're usually talking about
  • speaker
    gender over here, and there's the
  • speaker
    race issue over there and
  • speaker
    something else over here.
  • speaker
    But they're really are.
  • speaker
    Connected in part in our bodies.
  • speaker
    Right? They're all connected in our
  • speaker
    in our very bodies because we
  • speaker
    experience them.
  • speaker
    In us. So, yeah.
  • speaker
    So this transgender organizing has
  • speaker
    changed my life. It's been quite a
  • speaker
    blessing.
  • speaker
    So like kind of the work of Trans
  • speaker
    Faith now to kind of try to find
  • speaker
    those intersections.
  • speaker
    You promote those kind of
  • speaker
    conversations?
  • speaker
    Yeah, well, there's there's really
  • speaker
    nobody else working on a national
  • speaker
    level, multi-faith,
  • speaker
    multi-racial, multi-gender
  • speaker
    in the way that we are in a in a
  • speaker
    very anti-colonial,
  • speaker
    culturally competent way.
  • speaker
    Some people sort of dabble,
  • speaker
    especially when there's funding
  • speaker
    available. Folks dabble.
  • speaker
    But folk know that,
  • speaker
    you know, we've had there's there's
  • speaker
    one friend who I met
  • speaker
    when she was unemployed
  • speaker
    and out of seminary and not sure how
  • speaker
    she was going to support her family.
  • speaker
    And I knew her when she was
  • speaker
    historically hired at this major
  • speaker
    LGBT organization.
  • speaker
    And I knew her when she was
  • speaker
    historically hired at this major
  • speaker
    LGBT organization.
  • speaker
    And I knew her after
  • speaker
    that organization blew up.
  • speaker
    Right. And and and
  • speaker
    so we're that organization that
  • speaker
    doesn't isn't interested.
  • speaker
    We care about your title and what
  • speaker
    you're doing.
  • speaker
    But moreover, I care about
  • speaker
    you as a person and
  • speaker
    who you were before and who you are
  • speaker
    after.
  • speaker
    Because a lot of folk who make
  • speaker
    headlines,
  • speaker
    right, there's
  • speaker
    that 15 minutes or two years
  • speaker
    when somebody is famous and
  • speaker
    Louis likes to talk about the hula
  • speaker
    hoop, like, what's the current fad
  • speaker
    that somebody wants to talk about?
  • speaker
    Or the story that's sort
  • speaker
    of hot in the moment.
  • speaker
    But but we all have lives after that
  • speaker
    moment has passed where we
  • speaker
    still struggle to find employment
  • speaker
    and most of our folks struggle to
  • speaker
    find employment
  • speaker
    and, you know, even highly
  • speaker
    qualified, high functioning folk
  • speaker
    who for various reasons,
  • speaker
    you know, whether being outspoken,
  • speaker
    trans or
  • speaker
    discrimination or whatever it is,
  • speaker
    you know, struggle to find
  • speaker
    employment. And so so we're we're
  • speaker
    that a place that, you know,
  • speaker
    a big chunk of what we do is just
  • speaker
    behind the scenes support for people
  • speaker
    who are doing extraordinary
  • speaker
    five dimensional work.
  • speaker
    Right? We're fiscal sponsors of the
  • speaker
    Black Trans Prayer Book.
  • speaker
    It's an amazing project.
  • speaker
    And like, where else would they
  • speaker
    house something that integrates
  • speaker
    being Black and trans and having
  • speaker
    a spiritual life?
  • speaker
    And and so
  • speaker
    we do educational work.
  • speaker
    We attend conferences, we do
  • speaker
    a lot of relational work
  • speaker
    and mostly just try to occupy in
  • speaker
    some sense that that intersection
  • speaker
    that, you
  • speaker
    know, our our new tagline is we are
  • speaker
    better together, right?
  • speaker
    Like if
  • speaker
    the way that nonprofit industrial
  • speaker
    complex is structured encourages
  • speaker
    us to be in silos, right?
  • speaker
    To be in my little Presbyterian
  • speaker
    silo.
  • speaker
    And it's important the work that
  • speaker
    More Light Presbyterians does and
  • speaker
    Covenant Network that within the
  • speaker
    denomination, the silos are
  • speaker
    important too.
  • speaker
    But it's still a silo.
  • speaker
    And I'm we tend to be that person
  • speaker
    who says, okay, there's this
  • speaker
    Episcopal person who's working on
  • speaker
    discrimination against trans women.
  • speaker
    And I just introduced her to someone
  • speaker
    in the UCC and
  • speaker
    we're talking about connected, you
  • speaker
    know that I'm a person
  • speaker
    that and we're an organization
  • speaker
    that people come to to say like, who
  • speaker
    else is doing this thing
  • speaker
    that helps break open the silos
  • speaker
    and then learn from each other,
  • speaker
    particularly around religious
  • speaker
    tradition, even within Christianity,
  • speaker
    the denomination silos
  • speaker
    and around race and
  • speaker
    culture as well, right?
  • speaker
    So to connect the transgender
  • speaker
    Jews and the transgender Christians
  • speaker
    and the Two-Spirit folk of
  • speaker
    transgender experience.
  • speaker
    And one
  • speaker
    of the things that I did
  • speaker
    in 2009
  • speaker
    was co-found
  • speaker
    the Spirituality Track at
  • speaker
    the Philadelphia Trans Health
  • speaker
    Conference.
  • speaker
    It's now called the Philadelphia
  • speaker
    Trans Wellness Conference.
  • speaker
    But that was another really on the
  • speaker
    ground place where I met,
  • speaker
    learned about trans folk very
  • speaker
    clearly. It's a conference.
  • speaker
    It's the largest transgender
  • speaker
    specific conference in the world.
  • speaker
    And it's it's a place where there's
  • speaker
    conversations about mental health
  • speaker
    and there's conversations about
  • speaker
    physical transition and dating
  • speaker
    and spirituality is in there, right?
  • speaker
    And, you know,
  • speaker
    just about anything under the sun
  • speaker
    that you can talk about.
  • speaker
    And so I learned a lot from folk
  • speaker
    doing different kinds of trans
  • speaker
    activism, and
  • speaker
    that was a great place to bring
  • speaker
    together trans
  • speaker
    folk on a multi-faith and
  • speaker
    multiracial basis.
  • speaker
    So that's another location where
  • speaker
    some of that happened.
  • speaker
    I think you've pretty much covered
  • speaker
    everything that I have here.
  • speaker
    I'll just ask a couple more
  • speaker
    questions.
  • speaker
    Is there anything I mean, you've
  • speaker
    just received so many kind
  • speaker
    of awards and praise for your
  • speaker
    advocacy work.
  • speaker
    Is there anything looking back kind
  • speaker
    of over your career that you feel
  • speaker
    proudest of?
  • speaker
    Hmm.
  • speaker
    Proudest might not be the right word, but
  • speaker
    something that stands out.
  • speaker
    It's it's complicated for me,
  • speaker
    looking back.
  • speaker
    I have I have a lot of regrets
  • speaker
    and a lot of pride.
  • speaker
    It's kind of mixed in
  • speaker
    in a similar way to these legacies,
  • speaker
    right?
  • speaker
    I feel like I feel
  • speaker
    like the movement is at this
  • speaker
    point of wanting to tell the stories
  • speaker
    of way back when.
  • speaker
    And I'm a little bit like,
  • speaker
    whoa, but we ain't done yet, come on
  • speaker
    y'all.
  • speaker
    And there's certainly generational
  • speaker
    like I understand some of the
  • speaker
    reasons for it and the
  • speaker
    alleged success of marriage
  • speaker
    equality, which of course,
  • speaker
    everything's being rolled back by
  • speaker
    the current administration.
  • speaker
    And we have a new Supreme Court that
  • speaker
    could undo a lot of things that were
  • speaker
    done.
  • speaker
    But there's sort of this victory lap
  • speaker
    that seems to happen.
  • speaker
    And for trans folk and for people
  • speaker
    of color in
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    particular, like we're
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    just not there
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    and there's still just
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    transgender employment
  • speaker
    discrimination is a very real thing,
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    as well as people of color
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    having a hard time finding work
  • speaker
    in the industry.
  • speaker
    And so we want you know, there's a
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    way that the movement, both secular
  • speaker
    and religious, likes to want to
  • speaker
    trot us out for photo ops, right?
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    To show their trans folk, show their
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    people of color, show the trans
  • speaker
    people of color.
  • speaker
    But then when you're like, but who
  • speaker
    are you hiring?
  • speaker
    You didn't reach out.
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    You didn't even reach out.
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    Like we didn't even know you were
  • speaker
    hiring. You're hired somebody
  • speaker
    convenient.
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    And.
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    And that the advocacy is
  • speaker
    uneven.
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    Even the cultural competence still
  • speaker
    today is uneven.
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    That if you're an LGBT
  • speaker
    organization
  • speaker
    but you don't have basic cultural
  • speaker
    competence about what trans lives
  • speaker
    are like.
  • speaker
    Like how do you justify hiring
  • speaker
    people that don't have that cultural
  • speaker
    competence?
  • speaker
    There are lots of trans folk who
  • speaker
    have, who can talk about sexual
  • speaker
    orientation and gender,
  • speaker
    but a lot of people who are
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    cisgender can talk about
  • speaker
    sexual orientation, but they're not
  • speaker
    very good on on gender.
  • speaker
    So like, even if you're not
  • speaker
    hiring based on identity, right?
  • speaker
    Because legally you're not allowed
  • speaker
    to hire based on identity,
  • speaker
    you should be hiring for cultural
  • speaker
    competence in
  • speaker
    the things that are in your mission
  • speaker
    statement.
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    You know, race is an issue that's
  • speaker
    not necessarily in the mission
  • speaker
    statement of these LGBT orgs,
  • speaker
    even though we give lip service in
  • speaker
    whatever way and may or may not have
  • speaker
    the cultural competence.
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    But transgender is in the mission
  • speaker
    statements of these organization and
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    in the name of some of them.
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    And so to lack that cultural
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    competence is
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    is is difficult.
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    So I guess I'm most
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    proud and
  • speaker
    most challenged both by
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    trying to be a voice in the
  • speaker
    wilderness in a sense, like I
  • speaker
    am. I'm kind of a loud mouth.
  • speaker
    I think I've gotten a reputation
  • speaker
    for that. I probably I don't think I
  • speaker
    have that many honors compared to
  • speaker
    some people because I
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    think I've made people
  • speaker
    uncomfortable, like leading
  • speaker
    national LGBT leaders
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    in religion, uncomfortable
  • speaker
    regularly.
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    I finally came up with a
  • speaker
    like a closing, you know, you say
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    with gratitude or sincerely
  • speaker
    at the end of a note, and I started
  • speaker
    writing awkwardly yours
  • speaker
    on some of these emails because I
  • speaker
    was just like, how can I lighten
  • speaker
    it up and acknowledge that
  • speaker
    I'm like, I know you're
  • speaker
    doing the thing that people
  • speaker
    expect you to do in white Christian
  • speaker
    organizing, but like, I'm
  • speaker
    over here with my Black trans elders
  • speaker
    going like, Come on now,
  • speaker
    I can't.
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    I can't split myself apart like that
  • speaker
    anymore. Like, these folk are a part
  • speaker
    of me.
  • speaker
    And so, like, awkwardly,
  • speaker
    so I'm still learning how to
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    interpret who I am
  • speaker
    in a way that's more accessible, I
  • speaker
    think people get turned off.
  • speaker
    I think people get scared.
  • speaker
    I think people get overwhelmed.
  • speaker
    I think people get intimidated
  • speaker
    because I'm pretty uppity.
  • speaker
    I'm pretty uppity about this trans
  • speaker
    thing, I'm uppity about the race
  • speaker
    thing. I'm uppity about the cultural
  • speaker
    dynamics of like white civility
  • speaker
    and how we're supposed to be happy
  • speaker
    and smiling, even when,
  • speaker
    as Audre Lorde put it, someone has
  • speaker
    their foot on our neck, right?
  • speaker
    Like and
  • speaker
    I've reached a point in my life
  • speaker
    where I'm clear about that and the
  • speaker
    the the cultural dynamics
  • speaker
    that maintain these
  • speaker
    systems of oppression, even among
  • speaker
    well-meaning liberals, right?
  • speaker
    Who say they want to change,
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    but then reenacts
  • speaker
    these cultural dynamics that make it
  • speaker
    just intolerable for folk to
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    to be in a space.
  • speaker
    And so I guess I'm on a good day.
  • speaker
    On a good day I'm proud of being
  • speaker
    uppity and I'm proud of rocking
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    the boat.
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    And I'm proud of doing
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    groundbreaking work on
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    transgender organizing.
  • speaker
    I'm. You know what I'm most proud
  • speaker
    of? I'm. I'm most proud.
  • speaker
    I am most proud
  • speaker
    of the people who trust me.
  • speaker
    And that's not something you'll see
  • speaker
    on the website.
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    But but
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    people who have good
  • speaker
    reason not to trust white folk,
  • speaker
    who have good reason not to trust
  • speaker
    nonprofit leaders,
  • speaker
    managers,
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    who feel like they
  • speaker
    can talk openly
  • speaker
    and honestly with me,
  • speaker
    I treasure.
  • speaker
    I feel like given
  • speaker
    the legacy of colonization and
  • speaker
    racism in this country,
  • speaker
    it's a miracle
  • speaker
    that white folk and people of
  • speaker
    color have any relationships at all.
  • speaker
    Like, I just I think it's really a
  • speaker
    miracle. Like, there's so much grace
  • speaker
    involved in, even, like,
  • speaker
    just not being
  • speaker
    shot or something.
  • speaker
    I mean, I don't mean that in a
  • speaker
    joking way, but.
  • speaker
    There's good reason for there not to
  • speaker
    be trust.
  • speaker
    And so each one of
  • speaker
    these relationships,
  • speaker
    you know, and also with Christians,
  • speaker
    with with transgender
  • speaker
    leaders who are parts of other
  • speaker
    traditions, have good reason not to
  • speaker
    trust people of Christian
  • speaker
    background, people of color.
  • speaker
    Those relationships are my greatest
  • speaker
    pride and joy and and
  • speaker
    helped me survive.
  • speaker
    It's a very self-interested pride,
  • speaker
    because I really do despair
  • speaker
    sometimes of like, oh, gosh, I've
  • speaker
    spent 20 years in this work
  • speaker
    and I and my people still
  • speaker
    are on the outside
  • speaker
    and I've been as close, I've been
  • speaker
    on the inside.
  • speaker
    And I yelled about it a bit.
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    And I mean, not just yelled.
  • speaker
    I've organized. I've built an
  • speaker
    organization. I've, you know,
  • speaker
    shown up.
  • speaker
    And on a bad
  • speaker
    day, I have a lot of despair about
  • speaker
    what I wasted my life on.
  • speaker
    And those relationships
  • speaker
    are what keeps me going then to say,
  • speaker
    okay, but we're still here.
  • speaker
    As Miss Major would say we're still
  • speaker
    fucking here. I'm quoting Miss
  • speaker
    Major.
  • speaker
    But that's the kind of wisdom that I
  • speaker
    get, right? From this other lineage,
  • speaker
    these other lineages is,
  • speaker
    you know, she's been through the
  • speaker
    ringer. She's seen folk go through
  • speaker
    the ringer.
  • speaker
    And and surviving
  • speaker
    is success.
  • speaker
    Surviving to tell the story
  • speaker
    is success.
  • speaker
    And so I don't always remember
  • speaker
    that, right? I want to
  • speaker
    until I'm on some portrait
  • speaker
    on some wall, I mean, right?
  • speaker
    Like what are white standards of
  • speaker
    until I publish my book,
  • speaker
    I like, that's the
  • speaker
    kinds of success that I was raised
  • speaker
    up in but but
  • speaker
    it's success to survive and be
  • speaker
    in relationship and be in resistance
  • speaker
    and live to tell the
  • speaker
    tale.
  • speaker
    Yeah.
  • speaker
    Yeah.
  • speaker
    Probably something that we should at
  • speaker
    least mention for the historical
  • speaker
    record, especially ecumenically,
  • speaker
    that we didn't do is what I was
  • speaker
    doing between that 1999
  • speaker
    and 2007.
  • speaker
    So the commitment ceremony
  • speaker
    I had in October of 2000
  • speaker
    was at Tabernacle and it was
  • speaker
    semi-secret because
  • speaker
    my partner was a United Methodist
  • speaker
    minister
  • speaker
    and a lesbian.
  • speaker
    And
  • speaker
    and so we, you know, were careful
  • speaker
    who we invited. The Methodist Church
  • speaker
    polity was and is
  • speaker
    such that people could be defrocked
  • speaker
    just for attending a wedding
  • speaker
    or commitment ceremony as it was.
  • speaker
    And so she was
  • speaker
    quietly serving at First United
  • speaker
    Methodist of Germantown
  • speaker
    in Philadelphia as
  • speaker
    an associate pastor assistant.
  • speaker
    I forget what title it was
  • speaker
    and running the youth program and so
  • speaker
    forth. And after about two and a
  • speaker
    half years after our
  • speaker
    commitment ceremony, we were living
  • speaker
    together, starting
  • speaker
    to talk about having a family.
  • speaker
    We wanted to do, you
  • speaker
    know, domestic foster care to
  • speaker
    adoption.
  • speaker
    She said, you know, I can't
  • speaker
    I can't keep teaching these kids
  • speaker
    and not, and preaching these sermons
  • speaker
    and not talk about what I'm learning
  • speaker
    about God at home with my partner
  • speaker
    and how do I teach these kids to
  • speaker
    love themselves if I'm not able to
  • speaker
    be open about who I am?
  • speaker
    And so she decided
  • speaker
    we decided that she would come
  • speaker
    out as an openly
  • speaker
    lesbian United Methodist clergy
  • speaker
    person,
  • speaker
    and we thought
  • speaker
    she'd be defrocked and we'd get on
  • speaker
    with the foster care process.
  • speaker
    But it was a two and a half to three
  • speaker
    year process, two and a half
  • speaker
    years.
  • speaker
    She informed her bishop.
  • speaker
    He said, Well, if you do this, I'll
  • speaker
    have to do this.
  • speaker
    And some people
  • speaker
    have had a hard time with United
  • speaker
    Methodist bishops not saying
  • speaker
    what they mean and meaning, doing
  • speaker
    what they say.
  • speaker
    But Bishop Weaver did exactly
  • speaker
    what he said, and he didn't
  • speaker
    like it.
  • speaker
    But he did what he said and
  • speaker
    she did what she said.
  • speaker
    She came out there was actually
  • speaker
    a documentary crew there.
  • speaker
    So there's a movie
  • speaker
    called The Congregation by the
  • speaker
    Raymonds, who are kind of a
  • speaker
    famous video verite
  • speaker
    documentary crew.
  • speaker
    She came out,
  • speaker
    talked about our relationship
  • speaker
    and.
  • speaker
    And for
  • speaker
    somewhere around two and a half
  • speaker
    years was an openly lesbian clergy
  • speaker
    person.
  • speaker
    She was eventually defrocked in a
  • speaker
    church trial
  • speaker
    that made national headlines and
  • speaker
    news,
  • speaker
    and it was overturned on appeal
  • speaker
    in the Northeast jurisdiction and
  • speaker
    then was reaffirmed
  • speaker
    the defrocking at Judicial Council
  • speaker
    at the end of that two and a half
  • speaker
    years.
  • speaker
    And so
  • speaker
    it was it was a it's an interesting
  • speaker
    part of my history, right, because
  • speaker
    I've become this transgender
  • speaker
    organizer.
  • speaker
    I was already openly trans at that
  • speaker
    point. If you went to the Trans
  • speaker
    Faith Online website, you would have
  • speaker
    found, you know, and I'd been
  • speaker
    published in the Other Side
  • speaker
    Magazine, around OtherWise.
  • speaker
    But we made the strategic choice
  • speaker
    not to talk about my trans gender
  • speaker
    identity. You know, this was a time
  • speaker
    when, you know, our our
  • speaker
    messaging coach,
  • speaker
    our PR person was like,
  • speaker
    you know, don't say queer.
  • speaker
    You know, we really want to reach an
  • speaker
    audience that might be uncomfortable
  • speaker
    with the word queer. We're going to
  • speaker
    say lesbian and gay.
  • speaker
    You know, and it was just kind of
  • speaker
    like a bridge too far to talk about
  • speaker
    gender when
  • speaker
    the story was really about this, you
  • speaker
    know, lesbian clergy person who
  • speaker
    loves Jesus.
  • speaker
    Like that was the story.
  • speaker
    And that was what was important in
  • speaker
    that moment. But but meanwhile, she
  • speaker
    was being defrocked for being
  • speaker
    with someone who is the same gender.
  • speaker
    And I'm not the same gender as her.
  • speaker
    If you really understand what gender
  • speaker
    is.
  • speaker
    Although legally, you know,
  • speaker
    we had the same marker on our
  • speaker
    driver's license. So,
  • speaker
    you know, that's like this
  • speaker
    complicated part of my history
  • speaker
    where I'm kind of like a famous
  • speaker
    United Methodist, even though I've
  • speaker
    never been a member of a United
  • speaker
    Methodist Church, I've been an
  • speaker
    associate member eventually.
  • speaker
    But,
  • speaker
    you know, I had this whole other
  • speaker
    United Methodist life,
  • speaker
    in a sense, and people
  • speaker
    who know me and my history
  • speaker
    through that very public
  • speaker
    and, you know, very public trauma
  • speaker
    and.
  • speaker
    Yeah. And then came out of that and
  • speaker
    and became more public about
  • speaker
    the, you know, more
  • speaker
    active and well-known around the
  • speaker
    transgender stuff, even more so.
  • speaker
    Um, and I never quite
  • speaker
    know how.
  • speaker
    It's hard to know who knows me how,
  • speaker
    when I, when I meet someone.
  • speaker
    So somebody at church, uh,
  • speaker
    who I'd known for several years
  • speaker
    and, uh, and
  • speaker
    somehow it came up.
  • speaker
    I forget how. I said, You remember
  • speaker
    that really famous the United
  • speaker
    Methodist Church trial
  • speaker
    back in 2004?
  • speaker
    She's like, Oh, yeah. That was us.
  • speaker
    She's like, That was you?
  • speaker
    You know, cause they don't, folk
  • speaker
    don't remember the names or connect
  • speaker
    the dots. And especially especially
  • speaker
    local history and especially
  • speaker
    Methodist history.
  • speaker
    Um.
  • speaker
    But, yeah, it's
  • speaker
    this. It's this funny kind of.
  • speaker
    I don't know if it'll be a footnote
  • speaker
    or it's like this.
  • speaker
    Is that in some
  • speaker
    in some circles, that's what makes
  • speaker
    me famous. In some circles, being
  • speaker
    publisher of The Other Side magazine
  • speaker
    is what makes me most famous.
  • speaker
    And in some places, being co-founder
  • speaker
    of Trans Faith is what makes
  • speaker
    me most famous, I guess.
  • speaker
    But they're but they're all a part
  • speaker
    of me in the way that we
  • speaker
    described.
  • speaker
    Is there anything else that
  • speaker
    you want to make sure we talk about?
  • speaker
    My daughter would probably be very
  • speaker
    mad if she
  • speaker
    ever listened to this and
  • speaker
    I didn't acknowledge her existence.
  • speaker
    So after the
  • speaker
    after the church trial stuff was
  • speaker
    done in 2005, we had
  • speaker
    a final press conference
  • speaker
    in the pumpkin patch outside
  • speaker
    the church. She was selling pumpkin
  • speaker
    patches, pumpkins to
  • speaker
    raise money for a youth group
  • speaker
    trip or something.
  • speaker
    And and we had been
  • speaker
    on hold in the foster care process
  • speaker
    for two and a half
  • speaker
    going on three years.
  • speaker
    And they said the agency said we've
  • speaker
    never had anybody in the process for
  • speaker
    three years, but it just it was
  • speaker
    inappropriate to bring someone
  • speaker
    else's child into that story.
  • speaker
    And Thanksgiving
  • speaker
    that year, we got the phone call
  • speaker
    of what turned out to be Nevaeh,
  • speaker
    who was at the time seven weeks old
  • speaker
    and still in the NICU
  • speaker
    at Frankford Torresdale
  • speaker
    Hospital.
  • speaker
    And and she came to
  • speaker
    live with us. And after about
  • speaker
    three years, she was finally
  • speaker
    adopted. But not before
  • speaker
    we came, became really interwoven
  • speaker
    with her birth family, who's all
  • speaker
    local.
  • speaker
    And so you expect to
  • speaker
    fall in love with a kid.
  • speaker
    You don't expect to fall in love
  • speaker
    with a birth family or be adopted
  • speaker
    by the birth family of your adopted
  • speaker
    kid. So there's this whole
  • speaker
    other branch of our family now that
  • speaker
    is is kin is family with
  • speaker
    us.
  • speaker
    And Nevaeh is now 13
  • speaker
    years old and a delightful
  • speaker
    young woman who is
  • speaker
    wise in her own ways
  • speaker
    and who I really appreciate.
  • speaker
    Who she's growing in to be.
  • speaker
    And then meanwhile, my
  • speaker
    Beth and I have divorced.
  • speaker
    And so the divorce was finalized in
  • speaker
    2015.
  • speaker
    But we continue to co-parent
  • speaker
    together in
  • speaker
    in New Jersey.
  • speaker
    Around Nevaeh.
  • speaker
    That's probably what I would get in
  • speaker
    trouble for not saying. Nevaeh I
  • speaker
    love you.
  • speaker
    Oh, and I did come out to my parents
  • speaker
    once I was working at The Other Side
  • speaker
    magazine and I not so
  • speaker
    discreetly said, Here's
  • speaker
    this Christians and homosexuality
  • speaker
    magazine. You should really read it.
  • speaker
    Have you read it yet?
  • speaker
    You should really read it now.
  • speaker
    Apparently that's how I was like,
  • speaker
    again, not so subtle, like when you
  • speaker
    really think you're so
  • speaker
    crafty.
  • speaker
    So they didn't quite say, It's about
  • speaker
    time you told me, but
  • speaker
    they were kind of like,
  • speaker
    okay, like we
  • speaker
    worked it out and
  • speaker
    and they've been extraordinary
  • speaker
    supporters ever
  • speaker
    since.
  • speaker
    Just extraordinary
  • speaker
    allies,
  • speaker
    never wavering.
  • speaker
    No matter what kind of crazy stuff I
  • speaker
    throw at them that they don't really
  • speaker
    understand. But we're going to
  • speaker
    listen and we'll try to figure it
  • speaker
    out. And they and them pronouns.
  • speaker
    Okay, I'm not, they and them.
  • speaker
    Okay.
  • speaker
    We're going to we're going to work
  • speaker
    on that.
  • speaker
    It's we're we forget, but
  • speaker
    we we try and
  • speaker
    and so so yeah.
  • speaker
    I have to also
  • speaker
    acknowledge my parents through the
  • speaker
    whole process as well.
  • speaker
    You said before that your dad
  • speaker
    was really involved in the
  • speaker
    Presbyterian Church.
  • speaker
    Did that continue for quite a while?
  • speaker
    Yeah, he's still I think he stepped
  • speaker
    off session where they are now.
  • speaker
    They were involved in in Slidell,
  • speaker
    Louisiana. I don't know that they're
  • speaker
    in leadership there.
  • speaker
    I believe Dad first went on session
  • speaker
    at Silver Spring Presbyterian
  • speaker
    outside D.C.
  • speaker
    That was
  • speaker
    oh, actually, when.
  • speaker
    So when I came out to them.
  • speaker
    Right. I had been agnostic
  • speaker
    and they stopped going to the
  • speaker
    Presbyterian Church when I stopped
  • speaker
    going and started attending
  • speaker
    a Christian Reformed church because
  • speaker
    the greater Washington, D.C.
  • speaker
    area has more Dutch people and
  • speaker
    Christian Reformed folk.
  • speaker
    And so they got back in the
  • speaker
    Christian Reformed community.
  • speaker
    And when I came out to them,
  • speaker
    Mom went to the pastor there
  • speaker
    again discreetly
  • speaker
    said, What's the position of the
  • speaker
    Christian Reformed Church?
  • speaker
    This would be 1994, probably
  • speaker
    maybe 95.
  • speaker
    What's the position of the Christian
  • speaker
    Reformed Church on homosexuality?
  • speaker
    And he researched
  • speaker
    it and got her a copy of the 1971
  • speaker
    position paper on homosexuality
  • speaker
    from the Christian Reformed Church
  • speaker
    was, as you can imagine, was not
  • speaker
    supportive.
  • speaker
    And hopefully
  • speaker
    I'm not telling my mom's story here
  • speaker
    too much, but I understand that he
  • speaker
    came for a pastoral visit and half
  • speaker
    the conversation was about sexuality
  • speaker
    and what it meant
  • speaker
    for her to love me.
  • speaker
    Her then lesbian identified daughter
  • speaker
    hadn't done the trans thing trans
  • speaker
    clarifying yet at that time,
  • speaker
    but apparently half of it was how
  • speaker
    she might have gone to seminary
  • speaker
    if women were allowed to go to
  • speaker
    seminary, and
  • speaker
    at the time that she would have have
  • speaker
    done that. And so
  • speaker
    they found a again, a Presbyterian
  • speaker
    USA church
  • speaker
    in the area, stopped going to
  • speaker
    the CRC.
  • speaker
    And I think that's where Dad got
  • speaker
    involved and was voted
  • speaker
    on to session.
  • speaker
    And eventually they moved back to
  • speaker
    Michigan and
  • speaker
    Dad served on session for a number
  • speaker
    of years at what's now
  • speaker
    North Westminster
  • speaker
    and I think he's still on the
  • speaker
    building committee or something
  • speaker
    where he, you know, refinishes
  • speaker
    floors when they need him to or
  • speaker
    something.
  • speaker
    So they're both slowing down a
  • speaker
    little bit. But and and he's
  • speaker
    trying to step back a little bit
  • speaker
    from from church.
  • speaker
    But somewhere I think
  • speaker
    once they were in Michigan was
  • speaker
    when he was part of
  • speaker
    the General Assembly overture
  • speaker
    advocate.
  • speaker
    Along the way. I would have to ask
  • speaker
    him for the details, though.
  • speaker
    I don't I don't quite recall.
  • speaker
    So, yeah, they've been
  • speaker
    in Mom's, you know, worshipped.
  • speaker
    I don't think she's been in
  • speaker
    leadership.
  • speaker
    She quilts and makes,
  • speaker
    uh, liturgical vestments
  • speaker
    and whatnot with the, the ladies
  • speaker
    of the church sometimes.
  • speaker
    Yeah. They've been incredible.
  • speaker
    I think that might be a good place
  • speaker
    to stop.
  • speaker
    Okay.
  • speaker
    Thank you so much.
  • speaker
    Yeah.

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