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Chris Paige oral history, 2019.
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- speakerSo this is Elizabeth Wittrig,
- speakerinterviewing Chris Paige
- speakeron January 24th, 2019.
- speakerChris, if you just want to go ahead
- speakerand start off by telling us when and
- speakerwhere you were born.
- speakerI was born in Lansing, Michigan, at
- speakerSparrow Hospital
- speakerin November of 1971.
- speakerAnd can you talk about some of
- speakeryour experiences growing up, what
- speakeryour family dynamics were like?
- speakerI'm a I'm an only child, so
- speakerthat tells you something.
- speakerAnd.
- speakerI was born into.
- speakerLet's see.
- speakerIt's so open ended.
- speakerThat's great.
- speakerI was an only child and we
- speakerwent to church regularly.
- speakerI was baptized in the Christian
- speakerReformed Church there in Lansing
- speakerand eventually
- speakerwent to school at Lansing Christian
- speakerSchool, which was a private
- speakerChristian school
- speakerin that area. There's a lot of
- speakerDutch and Christian Reformed
- speakerinfluence.
- speakerThe Christian Reformed
- speakerChurch headquarters is in
- speakerGrand Rapids, and my mom's side
- speakerof the family was
- speakerhad landed there.
- speakerMom went to Calvin.
- speakerAnd so there was
- speakerthat was a lot of sort of the
- speakerconnection that we had to the church
- speakerin Michigan was
- speakerChristian Reformed Church kinds
- speakerof stuff.
- speakerAnd so after
- speakerfifth grade, we moved to Louisiana.
- speakerAnd in Louisiana, there's not
- speakerthat many Dutch people and there's
- speakernot that many Christian Reformed
- speakerpeople.
- speakerAnd so we ended up joining a
- speakerPresbyterian U.S.A.
- speakerchurch. And I remember the
- speakerthe debut of the new logo that
- speakerI guess in hindsight was about
- speakerreunification.
- speakerIf I have my facts right.
- speakerSo I, I did confirmation
- speakerat Slidell Presbyterian Church
- speakerin Slidell, Louisiana,
- speakerwhich is just north of New Orleans.
- speakerAt the time, it was a very
- speakermetropolitan kind of area because
- speakerfolks were they built
- speakerthe external tank for the space
- speakershuttle in that in that area.
- speakerMy mom worked for the computer
- speakercenter associated with the building
- speakerof the external tank.
- speakerAnd so a lot of people were coming
- speakerfrom around the country.
- speakerSlidell was really kind of booming
- speakerat that time.
- speakerAnd, you know, so at
- speakerthat sort of puberty level, I
- speakerstarted to be interested in Jesus,
- speakerhad a good youth group, went
- speakerto Montreat, was feeling
- speakerreally well connected.
- speakerAnd then the space shuttle
- speakerChallenger exploded
- speakeron national television,
- speakerand the booming of the external
- speakertank building ceased.
- speakerAnd my mom wasn't expecting
- speakerto be laid off, but a lot of people
- speakerwere. And it was definitely not.
- speakerI mean, she was going have to pick
- speakerup a lot of slack from other folk.
- speakerSo at that point,
- speakershe began looking for work.
- speakerAnd so like literally I came back
- speakerfrom Montreat where I had this, you
- speakerknow, amazing, of course, very
- speakerPresbyterian, but amazing
- speakeryouth group experience and was
- speakerreading the Bible in the new way and
- speakerwas feeling connected to youth group
- speakercommunity.
- speakerAnd I came home, they said, we're
- speakermoving to Northern Virginia
- speakerfor Mom to take a new job.
- speakerAnd that really kind of was a
- speakerhit to the gut.
- speakerI mean, we had we literally said
- speakerSlidell will be your home town, like
- speakersort of, you know, you were born in
- speakerMichigan, but you'll grow up in
- speakerSlidell and that's what you'll
- speakerknow as your hometown.
- speakerAnd the the transition to
- speakerNorthern Virginia was was rough.
- speakerI didn't connect as well at the
- speakersuburban Presbyterian Church
- speakerthat we started attending, in youth
- speakergroup cliques or like whatever it
- speakerwas like it wasn't anything horrible
- speakeror horror story.
- speakerI just didn't connect.
- speakerHow old were you?
- speakerWhen we.
- speakerLet's see. When we moved to Northern
- speakerVirginia, I must've been about
- speaker14.
- speakerI was going into my sophomore
- speakeryear in high school,
- speakerand so I had three years
- speakerin Oakton,
- speakerVirginia, Vienna, Virginia,
- speakerat Oakton High School,
- speakerduring which time I became an
- speakeragnostic.
- speakerI was like, God, if you're out
- speakerthere, I know you understand
- speakerthat I just want to be real with
- speakeryou. And I don't know if you exist,
- speakeryou know, like this was the kind of
- speakerconversation
- speakerthat I had.
- speakerAnd so Dad's side of the, Dad had
- speakergrown up Catholic
- speakerand he had I remember
- speakerit was it was a big deal for my
- speakermom's mom from my Dutch
- speakerReformed grandmother.
- speakerRight.
- speakerDidn't like, was concerned about
- speakerthe Baptist parts of the in-laws,
- speakerwas concerned about the Catholic
- speakerparts of the in-laws.
- speakerAnd that sort of, in hindsight gives
- speakerme some insight into like how
- speakerhow volatile those denominational
- speakerdifferences were.
- speakerEven just a generation before
- speakerthat, we kind of almost forget about
- speakerthese days,
- speakerbut Dad essentially converted to
- speakerbeing Protestant at least,
- speakerand over time, you know, was
- speakerso involved in the Presbyterian
- speakerChurch to be on session.
- speakerAnd actually
- speakerwas a
- speakerpolicy advocate.
- speakerWhat do you call it?
- speakerOh, man, my vocab, my
- speakerPresbyterian vocabulary is a little
- speakerbit tried right now.
- speakerThe proposals
- speakerthat we bring to General Assembly.
- speakerOverture advocate?
- speakerOverture. He was an overture advocate
- speakerat least one year
- speakeraround gay and lesbian stuff.
- speakerSo he had quite his own
- speakerjourney of of making the tradition
- speakerhis own.
- speakerSo I went to college again in
- speakerbasically Northern Virginia,
- speakerFredericksburg at Mary Washington
- speakerCollege, which is now called the
- speakerUniversity of Mary Washington.
- speakerI find that a little bit
- speakerpretentious, but I'm sure they had
- speakergood reasons.
- speakerI was very happy with it being a
- speakercollege
- speakerat the time.
- speakerI played basketball from
- speakerjunior high up through college, so
- speakerthat was also part of what I was
- speakerdoing, at a Division three
- speakerschool playing basketball.
- speakerI triple majored.
- speakerI started out with math and computer
- speakerscience.
- speakerMy mom had become a
- speakercomputer programmer, a database
- speakeranalyst back when it was like
- speakeryou couldn't study that in college,
- speakerright? Like you would learn it on
- speakerthe job. And that's what they took.
- speakerShe was a math major and learned
- speakerCOBOL at the Lansing Board of
- speakerWater and Light.
- speakerIn the seventies when you just
- speakerlearned it on the job, you know, she
- speakerwent from doing payroll
- speakerto learning COBOL
- speakerand something like 40 years later,
- speakerhelped them shut down the COBOL
- speakersystem to move into Oracle
- speakeror something. So.
- speakerSo I grew up with,
- speakeryou know, I guess genes in math and
- speakercomputer science and experience
- speakerwith. So I went to college doing
- speakermath and computer science, as
- speakeran agnostic and before
- speakerclasses had even started,
- speakerI met
- speakera girl.
- speakerI hadn't dated much through
- speakerhigh school. I mean, a little bit in
- speakerjunior high, but like literally high
- speakerschool.
- speakerI didn't go to proms or
- speakerlike that I
- speakerdidn't really have a reason why.
- speakerI didn't have an identity label
- speakerabout why I didn't
- speakercontinue with things that boys and
- speakergirls do in high school.
- speakerBut it didn't resonate
- speakerwith me.
- speakerBut a few days before classes
- speakerstarted in college, there was this
- speakergirl, and we.
- speakerShe became my best friend.
- speakerI'm going to leave her name off of
- speakerit.
- speakerShe had been a Southern Baptist
- speakermissionary already
- speakerby the time and
- speakerdid some more mission work
- speakersummers and even a semester over
- speakertime.
- speakerAnd
- speakerI fell in love.
- speakerWe fell in love.
- speakerIt was complicated.
- speakerI you know,
- speakerafter the first semester,
- speakerI was I knew that I was
- speakerattracted to her and I knew that
- speakershe was Southern Baptist.
- speakerAnd it just didn't seem like
- speakerit would make sense.
- speakerAnd I started drinking more
- speakerat that point. And, you know,
- speakerathletes aren't supposed to drink,
- speakerbut there's do and,
- speakeryou know, so there's, I sort of went
- speakerin that direction.
- speakerI guess this is awkward.
- speakerI don't care about my story being
- speakertold. She probably cares about her
- speakerstory being told, but
- speakerwe did end up having a
- speakerrelationship.
- speakerI maintain that she kissed me
- speakerbecause I never would have kissed
- speakerher, but she maintained that I
- speakerkissed her.
- speakerSo who knows what happens when
- speakercloseted queer people
- speakertry to figure out their histories
- speakerin relationship within,
- speakerespecially, a religious context.
- speakerIn any case, I started
- speakergoing to the Baptist Student Union
- speakerbecause this person I was
- speakerreally attracted to and involved
- speakerwith went there and there was
- speakerfood. And
- speakerwhen you when you're in college, you
- speakerknow, the people you like eating
- speakertogether like is all you need.
- speakerIt doesn't matter if you don't
- speakerbelieve in God too much.
- speakerAnd and it
- speakerwas interesting. I'm still not a
- speakerBaptist. You know, there are certain
- speakersongs I can sing that are very
- speakerBaptist that I know from in
- speakerpart from attending
- speakerlarge Baptist churches in
- speakersouthern Virginia,
- speakernot even just Fredericksburg, but
- speakergoing home to visit her family and
- speakerweekends. And, you know,
- speakerI we we
- speakerwe were I will say we were we were
- speakerfamily. Whatever else you might
- speakerqualify about the relationship.
- speakerShe stayed sometimes with my parents
- speakerduring the summer when I wasn't
- speakerthere, I visited with her family
- speakerafter her wedding, when
- speakershe wasn't there.
- speakerYou know, we we became family in
- speakersome sense of the word.
- speakerAnd had you talked to your parents
- speakerat all about your sexuality before?
- speakerNo, I didn't
- speakerstart coming out to anyone
- speakeruntil the fifth year of my
- speakerfive years in college.
- speakerSo this was a
- speakersolid four years
- speakerof not talking to anybody about
- speakerthis relationship.
- speakerWe
- speakerwe we
- speakerended up becoming roommates
- speakersophomore year.
- speakerBy the fourth year, we were sharing
- speakera house with two other people off
- speakercampus, fourth and fifth year.
- speakerAnd so,
- speakeryou know, I really
- speakeryou know, some people say, oh, you
- speakerknow, when I say she married a man
- speakerlater, you know, after college,
- speakerand some
- speakerpeople say, well, she was clearly
- speakercloseted and didn't reconcile
- speakerit, make up stories about her.
- speakerAnd I'm like, no, I know that the
- speakerintimacy of our emotional
- speakerintimacy changed when she
- speakermet this guy and started dating him.
- speakerLike, I know that our relationship
- speakerchanged.
- speakerAnd and so I really do believe
- speakershe fell in love with this other
- speakerguy. And,
- speakeryou know, blessings on her for
- speakerthe life that she's made with him.
- speakerBut, you know, it was a kind of
- speakertwisted,
- speakerunhealthy, closeted
- speakerfriendship slash relationship.
- speakerYou know, we lived together and we
- speakerended up doing laundry together and
- speakerbuying groceries together.
- speakerAnd, you know, like there's just a
- speakerlot of intimacy, whether you're
- speakerphysically involved or not that
- speakerhappens. And so
- speakerso it was kind of a complicated time
- speakerin terms of my sexuality
- speakerthat had emotional outcomes
- speakerwith anxiety.
- speakerYou know, what do you do with all these
- speakeremotions if you're not allowed to or
- speakerable to express them?
- speakerSo there are some mental health kind
- speakerof challenges that came up in that,
- speakersometimes involved drinking
- speakerto sedate that.
- speakerBut but meanwhile, I
- speakerhad started attending the Baptist
- speakerStudent Union and I was like, this
- speakerGod thing, there's something here
- speakerthat I'm missing.
- speakerAnd I'm not a Baptist, but there's
- speakersomething here that I'm missing.
- speakerAnd so there was an ecumenical
- speakercampus ministry called the
- speakerCampus Christian Community.
- speakerCCC was the initials,
- speakerand we went over there one time.
- speakerI said, Let me go try this not
- speakerBaptist thing.
- speakerAnd I remember
- speakerarguing about archetypes.
- speakerI thought they were stereotypes.
- speakerLike I didn't understand what
- speakerarchetypes were because it's college
- speakerand you're learning things with this
- speakerguy. And I remember being in the
- speakerliving room of that house and just
- speakerarguing about this.
- speakerAnd I was so sure and he was so
- speakersure. And long term he was right.
- speakerBut like, I was like, this is a
- speakerplace where people can ask questions
- speakerand whatever that thing that's
- speakermissing is here too.
- speakerBut like where I can bring my entire
- speakerbrain to the conversation
- speakerin a way that I didn't experience at
- speakerthe Baptist Student Union, that it
- speakerwasn't as critical thinking
- speakeroriented as it was.
- speakerAnd so
- speakerfirst, you know, I spent a year
- speakerbeing involved, then I was the
- speakernewsletter editor and then I was the
- speakerpresident of the Student
- speakerCouncil for the Ecumenical
- speakerCampus Ministry.
- speakerAnd so there was this coming back
- speakerto to religion,
- speakercoming back to Christianity,
- speakermaking the tradition my own in a
- speakerfresh way. What does Trinity mean to
- speakerme? What does Incarnation
- speakermean to me?
- speakerWhat does resurrection mean to me?
- speakerLots of reading while
- speakerall that was happening,
- speakerand by the end of
- speakerthat five year I spent five years in
- speakercollege.
- speakerI had mono my sophomore year, so I
- speakerstayed to get my fourth year of
- speakereligibility for basketball
- speakerand ended up adding a third major of
- speakerreligion. So I did a full
- speakermath, computer science and religion
- speakerin five years and my
- speakeradvisor convinced me not to add
- speakerclassics because that would be
- speakersilly.
- speakerBut I almost had the classics degree
- speakerby the time I took Latin for my
- speakerforeign language anyway.
- speakerSo.
- speakerSo by the end of college,
- speakerI had started
- speakerto come out to a few friends, like
- speakerthe number you can count on your
- speakerfingers, like including my high
- speakerschool basketball coach.
- speakerAnd I hadn't.
- speakerI don't think I had told my parents
- speakeryet.
- speakerNo, I hadn't told my parents yet.
- speakerAnd I should ask them if they knew
- speakerabout this relationship, like the
- speakernature of the relationship in
- speakerhindsight
- speakeror not.
- speakerYou know, I, I think I
- speakerand we believed that it was this
- speakervery carefully kept secret,
- speakerbut I think it was probably more
- speakerobvious than we realized.
- speakerSo my best friend from high school
- speakerwhen I wrote the coming out letter,
- speakerI am a lesbian.
- speakerI don't know if you knew.
- speakerShe was like, Well, it's about time.
- speakerLike, that was her totally.
- speakerHer response was like, Thanks for
- speakertelling me.
- speakerThanks for getting around to letting
- speakerme in on what was
- speakerso obvious.
- speakerSo I just I find
- speakerthose, those dynamics
- speakerto be kind of hilarious
- speakerbut intriguing when we think about a
- speakerdifferent decade
- speakerand a different generation of how
- speakerscary it was to
- speakercome out and how
- speakermuch anticipation of judgment
- speakereven from those, you know,
- speakerfolks that were like, Yeah, well,
- speakerduh.
- speakerBut it's still quite scary.
- speakerSo meanwhile,
- speakerthere was this organization called
- speakerThe Other Side Magazine
- speakerthat was published out of
- speakerPhiladelphia.
- speakerBut the director's wife
- speakerwas a sociology professor at my
- speakercollege at Mary Washington,
- speakerand so they had an office in
- speakerFredericksburg.
- speakerTwo or three doors down from the
- speakercampus ministry house.
- speakerAnd they, that spring of my last
- speakeryear, sent out a letter saying,
- speakerwe're looking for volunteers in our
- speakerFredericksburg office.
- speakerAnd I think it was just like, we're
- speakergoing to throw this against the wall
- speakerand see if it sticks kind of
- speakerlocal outreach.
- speakerAnd I responded
- speakerand after a couple of, you
- speakerknow, visits
- speakerto their, you know, their office
- speakerin their house, they said,
- speakeryou know, we have this job opening
- speakerin Philadelphia.
- speakerYou should really apply.
- speakerAnd I went back the next week and
- speakerthey said, you know, you should
- speakerreally apply for this job opening.
- speakerAnd so I did.
- speakerAnd I ended up getting this job as
- speakerassistant publisher of The Other
- speakerSide Magazine.
- speakerI, I had intended to do
- speakermy previous plan was to do
- speakera volunteer and mission program
- speakerand had been looking at that.
- speakerAnd so the the almost
- speakernonexistent salary that was offered
- speakerat this nonprofit was, you know,
- speakerbetter than a volunteer and mission
- speakerprogram would have been.
- speakerAnd I thought, let me spend a couple
- speakerof years working.
- speakerI wanted to be in the real world in
- speakersome fashion before going to
- speakerseminary.
- speakerI felt called to campus ministry.
- speakerAnd so let me do this real world
- speakerexperience with The Other Side
- speakerMagazine.
- speakerWell, that lasted about ten years.
- speakerI long, long term
- speakerrealized that seminary was not for
- speakerme, especially in the nineties.
- speakerI didn't want to go to seminary and
- speakerfight with people about
- speakerverses around sexuality or
- speakerI didn't want to train, you know,
- speakertrain the people who are supposed to
- speakerbe training me about how to treat me
- speakerwell.
- speakerAnd at first it was like, not right
- speakernow. And eventually it became like,
- speakerNo, I'm just not going to do this.
- speakerThe Other Side was an ecumenical
- speakerpublication.
- speakerIt closed in I think 2004.
- speakerI left in 2003.
- speakerAnd and it was an extraordinary
- speakereducational experience.
- speakerSo I didn't go to seminary, but I
- speakerwas, you know,
- speakerworking with folk
- speakerwith Virginia Mollenkott and Irene
- speakerMonroe and with the Berrigans.
- speakerAnd, you know, so I was exposed to
- speakerMennonites and Peace Churches
- speakerQuakers, Catholic workers,
- speakerkind of the best.
- speakerYou know, it was a multi issue
- speakermagazine founded by white
- speakerfolk who wanted to deal with racism
- speakerin 1965, but
- speakerexpanded and, you know,
- speakerpublished
- speakerChristianity and Homosexuality
- speakerSpecial Issue in like 1978.
- speakerSo, like really early grappling
- speakerwith sexuality and the church
- speakerkind of issues.
- speakerOne of my elders is John Linscheid,
- speakerwho was a key gay,
- speakercisgender gay man in the middle
- speakerof The Other Side's history
- speakerand did some important writing
- speakerat the time was Mennonite, defrocked
- speakerMennonite pastor.
- speakerAnd so like that just it it
- speakerbroadened my horizons in a lot of
- speakerways about what justice means.
- speakerWhat does Christianity, Christian
- speakertradition, what are some of the
- speakerresources in Christian tradition
- speakeraround justice?
- speakerAnd meanwhile, you know, in those
- speakeryears I was originally
- speakerstill grappling with like, what?
- speakerWhat about my call to ministry?
- speakerAnd I started
- speakerwhen I moved to Philadelphia, I
- speakerstarted attending Tabernacle United
- speakerChurch, which is Presbyterian,
- speakerPC(USA), and UCC.
- speakerAt the time it was the only More
- speakerLight church in the state of
- speakerPennsylvania, so
- speakerit wasn't hard for me to figure out
- speakerwhere to start. And I
- speakersettled in there
- speakerand they
- speakerinvited me to preach my first sermon
- speakerand ordained me as an elder.
- speakerIn my twenties, I'd have to do the
- speakermath to figure out how old I was.
- speakerAnd so I served on
- speakercouncil, a session there is called
- speakercouncil with the two
- speakerdenominational kind of polity
- speakerand
- speakerwas following Janie Spahr
- speakeraround anywhere
- speakerI could drive to, you know, from
- speakerBethlehem in Allentown,
- speakerPennsylvania, down to Richmond,
- speakerVirginia, I would drive and of
- speakercourse, conferences as well.
- speakerI joke that she's my homiletics
- speakerprofessor because I once saw
- speakerher preach the same sermon in three
- speakerdifferent places to three different
- speakeraudiences, and sort of watching
- speakerhow she adapted
- speakerit just a little bit to make more
- speakersense to this mostly gay
- speakeraudience or this mostly
- speakerstudent population, or this
- speakerchurch that was considering being
- speakerMore Light and and,
- speakeryou know, she'd be like, Oh, there's
- speakerChris, you know, like she would see
- speakerme at the events and
- speakerand so, so yeah.
- speakerI very much consider Janie
- speakerSpahr, one of my elders, especially
- speakerin my Presbyterian lineage.
- speakerIn 1996, I went to
- speakerthe General Assembly in Albuquerque,
- speakerto basically see what the
- speakerPresbyterian Church had to say to
- speakerme. I graduated from college in 94,
- speakerso I had been getting connected at
- speakerthe local level.
- speakerI was an elder so to ten Presbytery
- speakermeetings,
- speakerand that was the year I think they
- speakerpassed Fidelity and Chastity.
- speakerAnd we, we marched in protest.
- speakerUh, and.
- speakerYou know, was exposed to and
- speakerconnected to more
- speakerof the national leadership.
- speakerI think Laurene Lafontaine, Howard
- speakerWarren was still alive then.
- speakerScott Anderson,
- speakerJanie, of course,
- speakerand I kind of heard what the
- speakerPresbyterian Church had to say to
- speakerme. And they said, We're not really
- speakernot interested in you.
- speakerAnd I when that overture
- speakercame to the Presbytery of
- speakerPhiladelphia, I remember
- speakersitting with Roger Harless, who
- speakermy best understanding is he
- speakerdefrocked himself from Presbyterian
- speakerpastor-hood.
- speakerI remember sitting next to Roger
- speakerHarless
- speakerat the Presbytery of Philadelphia
- speakermeeting, and they and they passed
- speakerthis overture. They ratified
- speakerthis overture.
- speakerAnd then they wanted us to stand and
- speakersing They'll Know We Are Christians
- speakerBy Our Love.
- speakerAnd it and it felt like
- speakerit didn't feel loving.
- speakerIt felt like this military march,
- speakerand they'll know we.
- speakerLike it just felt.
- speakerI mean, it's kind of like it's not
- speakersuch a Presbyterian song.
- speakerIt's, you know,
- speakerPresbyterians are better with organ
- speakermusic, and that's not really a
- speakerthing. So it like maybe that's part
- speakerof it. But it just felt heavy
- speakerlike it felt like they were trying
- speakerto make us happy about
- speakerthis thing that was really ugly.
- speakerAnd certainly for me and my
- speakerexperience was, was ugly.
- speakerAnd I don't think I went back to
- speakeranother Presbytery meeting until
- speakerI was accompanying a pastor that we
- speakerwere calling to Tabernacle through
- speakercommittee on ministry and so forth.
- speakerSo that was really a turning point
- speakerfor me and my relationship with the
- speakerPresbyterian Church.
- speakerAnd the
- speakerTabernacle is is
- speakeralso UCC.
- speakerAnd so I was technically both a
- speakermember of the Presbyterian Church
- speakerand the United Church of Christ, and
- speakerNancy Crotty, who's a lesbian elder
- speakerin UCC land,
- speakerwho's local, she wasn't at
- speakerTabernacle, but she was local and
- speakerfrom from early on, however
- speakerwe met. I'm not sure how we met.
- speakerMaybe I went to a UCC coalition
- speakergathering locally.
- speakerShe kind of adopted me as a baby
- speakerdike and she was like, You know,
- speakeryou're UCC too.
- speakerShe would remind me.
- speakerI'm like, No, I'm really
- speakerPresbyterian.
- speakerAnd you know, the Reformed tradition
- speakerwas really important to me and
- speakereducation and creeds and writing
- speakerthings down and constitutional
- speakergovernment like these were all like
- speakervalues that I had
- speakerinternalized, for better or worse.
- speakerAnd she's like, Just remember,
- speakeryou're also United Church of Christ.
- speakerAnd that's been a fascinating
- speakerjourney.
- speakerLong story short,
- speakeruh, as I grew
- speakerolder, there
- speakerwas a point at which Tabernacle
- speakerstopped being
- speakera challenge to me.
- speakerRight? It stopped challenging the
- speakergrowing, challenging me where my
- speakergrowing edges were.
- speakerAnd I continue to love and adore
- speakerthat congregation still means the
- speakerworld to me.
- speakerFiguring out church membership is
- speakerhard for me because like I never
- speakerwanted to leave Tabernacle, but
- speakerI wanted to be challenged to grow
- speakerat the edges of my faith journey.
- speakerAnd so now I'm a member of Living
- speakerWater United Church of Christ,
- speakerwhich is a predominantly African
- speakerAmerican congregation
- speakerthat was founded in an inclusive
- speakerway.
- speakerAnd and I'm treasurer there,
- speakerand I'm not sure that my
- speakera letter to transfer my membership
- speakerhas actually happened.
- speakerSo I may technically be on the books
- speakerof both congregations, which
- speakeris in some ways, it's not
- speakerdecent and in order, but in some
- speakerways it's okay with me
- speakerand represents where my heart is,
- speakerboth both places.
- speakerAnd so for me, being
- speakerat Living Water is in part
- speakerlike wanting to be more connected to
- speakera spirituality that's not still
- speakerstuck in my head.
- speakerI mean, I really do come from the
- speakerfrozen chosen, like Christian
- speakerReformed Church. Even more than
- speakerPresbyterian is very stiff.
- speakerAnd I grew up with the Psalter
- speakerhymnal where the the music
- speakeris organized according
- speakerto the the Psalms.
- speakerYou know, hymn number one is based
- speakeron Psalm number one.
- speakerAnd I think they've gotten over
- speakerthat. But like I come from
- speakerlike really organized people
- speakerand you wouldn't want to have pictures
- speakerto distract you from worshiping
- speakerGod.
- speakerAnd so for me, being connected to my
- speakerbody, being
- speakerphysically embodied in worship,
- speakeraudibly, you know, not silent, not
- speakerholding back emotions
- speakerlike that's part of that growing
- speakeredge that
- speakerI, you know, that Living
- speakerWater gives to me,
- speakersupports me in a way that's
- speakerdifferent than Tabernacle could
- speakerin a more predominantly white, still
- speakerdiverse, but predominantly white
- speakertradition.
- speakerYeah. So that's kind of how I
- speakerlanded, where I am.
- speakerI left out a lot of parts along
- speakerthe way, but.
- speakerBut that's really where my Christian
- speakerjourney has, um,
- speakerhas taken me through the years
- speakerand I don't actually identify as
- speakerChristian anymore.
- speakerI still identify as a witness to the
- speakerresurrection.
- speakerThat story
- speakerhas a hold on my life.
- speakerAnd for, for better or worse,
- speakerwhether I like it or not, like
- speakerthat's a story that means something
- speakerto me
- speakerand has changed my life.
- speakerAnd so I identify as a witness to
- speakerthe resurrection,
- speakerand I identify as an animist,
- speakerwhich which is kind
- speakerof a fuzzy term, especially
- speakerfor doctrinaire kind of folk who
- speakerwant to know exactly what things
- speakermean.
- speakerSo that's part of my growing edge as
- speakerwell, but it's really about
- speakerrelationships.
- speakerAnd so maybe I'm a Christian
- speakeranimist. I don't know how I feel
- speakerabout that.
- speakerThe animist part is more important
- speakerto me now, but of course I worship
- speakerregularly in a Christian
- speakercongregation,
- speakerbut in a congregation that's very
- speakerrelational, right?
- speakerThat really Black church tradition
- speakeris much more relational than white
- speakerchurch tradition typically
- speakeris.
- speakerAnd so it really matters about being
- speakertogether with these people and being
- speakerin community, being in a
- speakerrelationship with the rocks
- speakerand the stones and the trees, being
- speakerin relationship with the ancestors
- speakerand the OtherWise
- speakerand with the universe
- speakeror creator or whatever
- speakerwords we want to say for all
- speakerof things.
- speakerAnd so I really kind of bridge
- speakerwhat's typically considered more of
- speakera pagan perspective
- speakerand a pretty traditional Christian
- speakerSunday morning experience
- speakerin, in Black church kind of way.
- speakerUm, so it's,
- speakerI'm a colleague of mine,
- speakerLouis Mitchell talks about
- speakertrans folk being holy hybrids.
- speakerAnd I really, I really embody,
- speakerI really reflect that term
- speakerbeing a holy hybrid, bringing
- speakerdifferent traditions
- speakertogether, being influenced by
- speakermultiple Christian traditions, being
- speakerinfluenced especially as a
- speakermulti-faith organizer by different
- speakerreligious traditions and
- speakerperspectives,
- speakerand somehow trying to bring those
- speakertogether in my life and lived
- speakerexperience.
- speakerAnd you've been I mean, this
- speakeris going to be a broad question,
- speakerbut you've been an advocate for so
- speakermany religious
- speakergroups advocating for LGBTQIA+
- speakerrights, but you've also worked some
- speakerwith secular organizations.
- speakerCan you speak at all the where
- speakeryou've kind of seen those two
- speakermovements overlap
- speakerand find common ground or where
- speakerthat's been very how you've
- speakerkind of maybe brought religion in a
- speakermore secular settings?
- speakerRight.
- speakerWell, I've I've ended up focusing
- speakerreally a lot more on the religion
- speakerside. So LGBT
- speakerorganizing on average
- speakertends to be a secular world
- speakerbecause the religious right did such
- speakera good job of defining the terms of
- speakerthe argument
- speakerearly on and
- speakerand because there's so much
- speakerreligious abuse.
- speakerAnd so a lot of folks say
- speakerit was harder for me to come out as
- speakerChristian than it was
- speakerfor me to come out as queer or
- speakertrans.
- speakerAnd so there are some real tensions
- speakerwithin secular LGBT
- speakerorganizing about what's
- speakerthe proper place of religion.
- speakerHow do we deal with the abuse?
- speakerHow do we deal with some
- speakerfolk who are very actively
- speakerreligious or spiritual?
- speakerOther folks were very actively
- speakernon-theistic, have experienced
- speakerabuse from religion.
- speakerHow do we really hold in tension how
- speakerimportant it is for some
- speakerof us and how hard it is for some of
- speakerus?
- speakerSome of us both, right?
- speakerHard for us and important to us.
- speakerSo it's it's a complicated
- speakerintersection.
- speakerI feel like things have changed in
- speakerthe last decade or so
- speakeras LGBT
- speakerorganizing.
- speakerAnd I have to say,
- speakerthe role of people of color bring
- speakerin the movement changes that.
- speakerSo I feel like white folk tend to be
- speakeron average gross generalizations,
- speakermore iconoclastic, like if you're
- speakergoing to reject religion, you're
- speakergoing to reject it entirely.
- speakerWhereas many people
- speakerof color come from not just Black
- speakerchurch traditions, but African
- speakerdiaspora traditions, Native
- speakertraditions,
- speakerand and have been able to bring
- speakera different kind of spirituality
- speakerthat's not so iconoclastic,
- speakereven if it's Christian, it's not
- speakerthe same kind of Christian
- speakerin tone or tenor or intent.
- speakerAnd so, how do we nurture
- speakerresilience?
- speakerHow do we nurture resistance?
- speakerOf course Black church traditions
- speakerhave centuries of
- speakerexperience, right, in
- speakerresisting white supremacy.
- speakerAnd so there's this
- speakermarvelous in my experience,
- speakerI've learned so much.
- speakerAnd I always feel like I want to
- speakercredit my people of
- speakercolor, elders and
- speakerprophets and friends and colleagues
- speakerwho have taught me more right about
- speakerbeing present to spirit in
- speakera different way, being
- speakerpresent to those conflicts
- speakerin a different way.
- speakerAnd I'm still on a learning journey
- speakerthrough that. But but I feel like
- speakerthe movement LGBT organizing
- speakerhas it's much more complicated
- speakernow because we have lots of factions
- speakerwithin LGBT organizing,
- speakerbut there's certainly a stronger and
- speakermore visible
- speakerand I should mostly say more
- speakervisible, right? Because it's always
- speakerbeen there
- speakerbut is more visible in the
- speakermainstream or social media
- speakerand all the ways that we interact
- speakernow in a different way.
- speakerAnd so, you know, I came
- speakerup in
- speakerright Presbyterians for Lesbian and
- speakerGay Concerns
- speakerwas my people initially
- speakerand
- speakerChristian Lesbians Out connected me
- speakerto a range of
- speakerlesbian feminist radical
- speakerjustice seeking women.
- speakerAnd so that was a little bit broader
- speakercommunity ecumenically.
- speakerAnd so I certainly count in my
- speakerlineage folk who have influenced
- speakerme, folk like Virginia Mollenkott or
- speakerCarter Heyward, Beverly Harrison
- speakerand the CLOUT women who I
- speakergot to know through those
- speakerconferences.
- speakerAnd really
- speakerimportant, Melanie Morrison,
- speakerwho's become a mentor.
- speakerI did anti-racism training with her
- speakerand really appreciate the ways that
- speakershe brings whiteness
- speakerand anti-racism work to
- speakerthe conversation as an openly
- speakerlesbian, UCC pastor
- speakeror clergy woman.
- speakerAnd so, so this is like,
- speakeragain, something that I wrestled
- speakerwith in my holy hybridness.
- speakerAnd so there's just like Tabernacle
- speakercouldn't quite help me grow
- speakeronce I reached a certain point of
- speakerfullness in myself that I wanted to
- speakercontinue to grow, and they weren't
- speakerweren't at that edge.
- speakerIt was like my white Christian
- speakerfolk who made me who I am in so
- speakermany ways
- speakerand helped me come out of shame and
- speakerinternalized homophobia and these
- speakerkinds of things.
- speakerI began pushing
- speakeran edge that they didn't quite have.
- speakerAnd that it makes for a complicated
- speakerway for me,
- speakerthinking about my lineage.
- speakerSo part of what happened
- speakerin 1998,
- speakerI started looking at my gender
- speakeridentity.
- speakerIt was actually through a women's
- speakergroup at Tabernacle that I
- speakerco-founded, and we were talking
- speakerabout shadow work.
- speakerAnd I realized that my shadow
- speakerwasn't my masculine side, it was
- speakermy feminine side, my drag persona,
- speakerthat when I dress up in a dress, it
- speakerwas kind of shadow work for
- speakerme and made me feel a little
- speakeruncomfortable and a little excited.
- speakerAnd I was like,
- speakerif if dressing up in a dress,
- speakerin the bridesmaid's dress from this
- speakerfirst girlfriend's wedding,
- speakerif that makes me feel kind of funny
- speakerlike that, what does that mean about
- speakerwho I am when I'm not doing shadow
- speakerwork?
- speakerAnd
- speakerand so I started looking at this
- speakergender thing and ended up creating a
- speakerwebsite called Trans Faith Online, a
- speakerlittle free Angelfire website.
- speakerWith what I was able to gather, I
- speakerreached out to these LGBT
- speakerorganizations to Integrity and UCC
- speakerCoalition and More Light and
- speakerReconciling and was like, Where's
- speakerthe gender stuff?
- speakerWho do I talk to?
- speakerWhat are the books?
- speakerYou know, where are the articles?
- speakerAnd they were all like to the degree
- speakerthat they responded.
- speakerThey were like, we don't know any
- speakertrans people and we don't have any
- speakerresources.
- speakerAnd it seems that they had just
- speakeradded transgender to their mission
- speakerstatement. I mean, well-meaning,
- speakeradding to their mission statement
- speakerand names
- speakerbecause funders started to require
- speakerit and because this
- speakerwas a topic that was starting to
- speakercome up. But it wasn't because they
- speakerhad experience or knew people.
- speakerAt the time Erin Swenson,
- speakerwho had sustained her ordination in
- speakerthe Atlanta Presbytery
- speakeras a Presbyterian clergy person,
- speakerwas kind of the only
- speakeropenly trans
- speakerreligious leader that was out there.
- speakerKate Bornstein and Leslie Feinberg
- speakerwere really important authors in the
- speakernineties.
- speakerThey weren't explicitly religious,
- speakeralthough they both have Jewish and
- speakerKate had a Scientology background.
- speakerBut just as sort of that radical
- speakerresistance kind of spirituality
- speakerand acknowledging our ancestors kind
- speakerof thing. So what I
- speakerwhat I was able to find from folk on
- speakerthe Internet, I put on
- speakerto this little website
- speakerand and the next year I
- speakergot married.
- speakerIt was a commitment ceremony because
- speakerwomen weren't able to get married
- speakerat that time in U.S.
- speakerhistory in 2000.
- speakerAnd so this trans faith website kind
- speakerof got set aside a little bit.
- speakerI had connected with folks.
- speakerI had figured out that I identified
- speakeras trans, identified as OtherWise,
- speakerwhich is otherwise with a capital
- speakerW in the middle of it,
- speakernon-binary gender.
- speakerBut also I
- speakerdidn't have language for what else
- speakerit meant at the time.
- speakerIt was a word that was given to me
- speakerin the mountains,
- speakerin an animist kind of way.
- speakerAnd it's taken me 20 years to start
- speakerto have more language about what
- speakerthat means. And it means being,
- speakeryou know, resisting the
- speakercolonization.
- speakerRight. So resisting white supremacy,
- speakerresisting Christian supremacy
- speakerand being non-binary in gender
- speakerfor me, being connected
- speakerto my ancestors and OtherWise to
- speakerfolk who have come before me
- speakerin an animist kind of way.
- speakerAll of that is bound
- speakerup in this OtherWise identification
- speakerthat I have, and I'm
- speakercontinuing to unfold
- speakerin my own understanding.
- speakerRight. Again, very much influenced
- speakerby people of color and indigenous
- speakertraditions,
- speakerbut acknowledging that I come from
- speakerEuropean roots,
- speakerright?
- speakerAnd Christian upbringing, and that
- speakerI'm not, like I don't feel called
- speakerto become embedded
- speakerin an indigenous tradition.
- speakerI believe that we as white folk,
- speakeras European descent
- speakerfolk who who carry this
- speakerlineage of Christian supremacy,
- speakerneed to do our own work to unpack
- speakerand decolonize the traditions that
- speakerwe've been given.
- speakerAnd for me, OtherWise, is that
- speakeris that language that starts to say
- speakerthis is actually a pretty European
- speakerword and it evokes the
- speakerbinary. Right?
- speakerYou have this otherwise that,
- speakerlike this or that,
- speakerbut that there's also a third way,
- speakerright, that I originally learned
- speakerfrom peace activists that there's a
- speakerthird way to violent engagement.
- speakerThere's other ways to resist and
- speakerdo something different than
- speakerbuy into the script that says you
- speakerhave to be for or against
- speakerwhatever the thing is.
- speakerAnd so, so all these threads,
- speakerright, weave together for me
- speakerand,
- speakerand in 2007,
- speakerthe, I guess it's the Presbyterian
- speakerWomen's Committee?
- speakerThe National
- speakercontacted me and said, we want to
- speakerwe're going to be in Philadelphia
- speakerand we want to do a training on
- speakertransgender issues.
- speakerWould you lead us
- speakerin this session?
- speakerSure. And so I hadn't really.
- speakerI'd been busy for
- speakerdoing other very dramatic things
- speakerin my life for the past
- speakereight years.
- speakerBut I was like, sure.
- speakerSo let me Google, at this point we
- speakerhad Google. Before we didn't have
- speakerGoogle.
- speakerI Googled transgender Christian to
- speakersee like what I had missed
- speakerwhile I was distracted doing other
- speakerthings.
- speakerAnd and the number one
- speakersearch result on Google
- speakerin 2007
- speakerfor transgender Christian was Trans
- speakerFaith Online, was my website
- speakerthat I hadn't touched in eight years
- speakerthat had broken links like half the
- speakercontent wasn't even there anymore.
- speakerAnd I was the number one search
- speakerresult and I was like, Wow,
- speakerlike what's been happening for eight
- speakeryears that I'm still
- speakerat the top of these search results.
- speakerAnd we could talk about Google
- speakeralgorithms and whatnot, but
- speakerI did that session.
- speakerBut it was part of a call, you know,
- speakerthe spirit sort of coming in and
- speakertapping me on the shoulder and
- speakersaying, you remember this?
- speakerYou remember this transgender thing
- speakerthat you got clarity about in
- speakeryears ago? It's time for you to go
- speakerback to that thing.
- speakerAnd another,
- speakeryou know, a funder presented
- speakerthemselves like I was facilitating a
- speakerretreat in New Jersey with
- speakerMethodists,
- speakerand we were doing asset based
- speakercommunity development just going
- speakeraround the circle like, what do you
- speakerlove to do? What do you want to
- speakeroffer to the world?
- speakerInstead of saying, How do we
- speakerraise money to do such a thing?
- speakerYou know? And so one person said, I,
- speakerI feel moved to share that I have a
- speakerfamily foundation.
- speakerAnd that became
- speakerthe first funder for Trans Faith
- speakerOnline.
- speakerAnd I relaunched the website on a
- speakercontent management system, which
- speakerwas not something
- speakerpeople did at that time.
- speakerRight now, now we have blogs and,
- speakeryou know, this was still Web
- speaker1.0.
- speakerAnd so moving it to a content
- speakermanagement system was kind of a big
- speakerinvestment. And
- speakerand then I finally started really
- speakermeeting transgender people.
- speakerAnd in like 2008, as I networked
- speakerthe new website, I started
- speakergetting invited to, you know,
- speakerthere's a Transgender Relief
- speakerReligious Leaders Summit in
- speakerBerkeley.
- speakerIt was actually the second one, and
- speakerI was invited to present there.
- speakerI was invited to the Fellowship of
- speakerAffirming Ministry, Bishop Flunder
- speakerinvited me to present at their
- speakerleaders convocation
- speakerand the Fellowship and Bishop
- speakerFlunder have been really important
- speakerpart of my journey again with sort
- speakerof Black church tradition,
- speakerbut more so just friends
- speakerand colleagues that have helped me
- speakerto grow and new and different ways.
- speakerBishop Flunder introduced me to
- speakerLouis Mitchell.
- speakerShe sort of instigated a group
- speakercalled Trans Saints, which
- speakeris the Transgender Ministry of the
- speakerFellowship of Affirming Ministries.
- speakerAnd Fellowship is mostly
- speakerBlack neo-Pentecostal, uh,
- speakergay, lesbian and some trans
- speakerfolk around the country
- speakerand around the world. They have
- speakerministry in Africa and
- speakerAsia and Mexico
- speakerand places.
- speakerSo a really broad reach.
- speakerAnd so Trans Saints, the initial
- speakerconfiguration, they changed the
- speakerconfiguration pretty quickly after
- speakerthat. But the initial configuration
- speakerfrom the first meeting was that
- speakerthere would be an advocacy committee
- speakerand some other committees.
- speakerAnd she said, Chris and L.J., you
- speakerwork on the advocacy
- speakercommittee.
- speakerL.J.
- speakernow goes by Louis Mitchell
- speakerand we became fast friends like,
- speakeryou know, separated at birth kind of
- speakerlevel, level of siblinghood.
- speakerAnd we would share a room
- speakerat Fellowship events and get
- speakerto know each other better.
- speakerAnd at this
- speakerpoint, it's, it's it's not been
- speakerten years that we've known each
- speakerother, but we,
- speakerwe were volunteered on different
- speakergroups together and eventually said,
- speakeryou know, we really need to build an
- speakerindependent trans organization
- speakerto to deal with these issues because
- speakerit's really not working to try to do
- speakertrans under the umbrella
- speakerof LGBT organizing like trans
- speakerfolk have specific
- speakerdifferent needs.
- speakerExpertise about trans issues just
- speakerreally isn't present in the
- speakercisgender leadership of LGBT
- speakerorganizations, even when they're
- speakertrying.
- speakerAnd we need to be more independent
- speakerin how we operate.
- speakerAnd so in 2012,
- speakerwe launched
- speakerI became the founding executive
- speakerdirector of Trans Faith, the
- speakerorganization, as opposed to just a
- speakerwebsite.
- speakerAnd after six years, I stepped down
- speakerand Louis became executive director.
- speakerSo he's currently the executive
- speakerdirector of Trans Faith,
- speakerthe organization.
- speakerAnd so that's a a continuing
- speakerjourney. And so between the
- speakerwebsite and Trans Faith, I've been
- speakerprivileged to know
- speakerin really close
- speakerbehind the scenes kinds of ways,
- speakerthe stories of lots
- speakerof transgender, spiritual
- speakerand cultural workers
- speakerin a multiracial kind of way have
- speakerlearned from two spirit
- speakerNative folk of trans
- speakerexperience,
- speakerhave learned from transgender Jews
- speakerabout Hebrew Scripture in
- speakera way that Christians just don't
- speakerget it right and
- speakerhave have learned from
- speakertransgender Buddhist teachers,
- speakeryou know, work with transgender
- speakerMuslims just like
- speakerthis amazing rich
- speakerexperience, which, you know, I
- speakerfounded a student interfaith dialog
- speakergroup in college, you know, for
- speakera couple of semesters.
- speakerAnd I in Philadelphia,
- speakerI founded the Yes Coalition, not
- speakerco-founded, I worked with the Yes
- speakerCoalition. I didn't found it,
- speakerbut became the coordinator of it and
- speakerso had multi-faith
- speakerrelationships here in an
- speakerLGBT context.
- speakerBut Trans Faith, really
- speakerthe national network of folk
- speakerand the privilege of really hearing
- speakerlike what's real, like what's going
- speakeron? Not just not just what
- speakeryou post on Facebook, not just
- speakerwhat the conference headlines say,
- speakerbut like what was really going on
- speakerbehind the scenes in your life
- speakerand the struggles and challenges?
- speakerAnd how does God
- speakeror Dharma practice
- speakeror whatever have to do with whatever
- speakerit is that's going on?
- speakerLike that has been profound and
- speakerpowerful for me.
- speakerYeah, that's been really important
- speakeras well as specifically
- speakerpeople of color.
- speakerAnd so I you know, between Louis
- speakerbeing an important part of my life,
- speakerFellowship and other contacts
- speakerwith people of
- speakercolor organizers, you know,
- speakerthere's this other lineage.
- speakerSo like I started this talking about
- speakermy Presbyterian and white
- speakerChristian, you know, queer
- speakerlineage that, you know, Miss
- speakerMajor, who was at Stonewall is a
- speakerBlack trans woman
- speakeris is Mother Major to me
- speakernow and and Jonathon
- speakerThunderword, who
- speakerLouis Mitchell counts father
- speakerfigure right um
- speakeris is my elder and so
- speakerthere's this tradition of especially
- speakerBlack trans organizing
- speakerand resistance and resilience
- speakerthat's also a part of my lineage.
- speakerNow, I'm not Black, I don't pretend
- speakerto be Black, but
- speakerthey were doing things when I didn't
- speakerknow they existed.
- speakerAnd this is why I talk about like
- speakerthey're more visible now.
- speakerBut they were doing the work.
- speakerJonathon and Major were doing the
- speakerwork in the nineties.
- speakerI've got written proof of that.
- speakerBut that doesn't mean that people
- speakerlike me over in our little Christian
- speakerivory towers knew
- speakerwhat it meant for them to help folks
- speakersurvive
- speakerin that same time.
- speakerAnd so now I've had the privilege to
- speakersit with those folk and be in
- speakerrelationship with those folk and
- speakerlearn from those folk.
- speakerAnd, and that's
- speakerthat changes me, right?
- speakerAnd so it's it's hard for me to
- speakerfigure out how to talk.
- speakerA lot of times when we tell the
- speakerstory of LGBT
- speakerChristian organizing and we did this
- speakerat an event in St. Louis
- speakera year and a half ago or so.
- speakerMark Bowman's doing a great job with
- speakerthe LGBT Religious Archives Network
- speakerand put on a conference in St. Louis
- speakerto sort of gather Christian elders,
- speakerimpart, you know, before folk pass
- speakeron.
- speakerAnd I was invited as a trans elder,
- speakerand it was it was just
- speakerextraordinarily awkward for
- speakerme because I really
- speakerdo look up to
- speakerfolk like Carter and Virginia and
- speakerJanie and Melanie that came before
- speakerme on this white Christian lineage.
- speakerBut when we tell the story
- speakerthat people of color came
- speakerlater, when we tell the
- speakerstory that trans folk came later,
- speakerI'm like, That's my family, too.
- speakerThose are my elders, too.
- speakerAnd and then
- speakerthere's this challenge for me of how
- speakerdo I talk about both lineages,
- speakergive honor to both lineages, and be
- speakerclear, just because I didn't meet
- speakerMajor or Jonathon until
- speakeryears later
- speakerdoesn't mean they weren't doing the
- speakerwork. They were there
- speakeron the front lines, even more
- speakerso
- speakerin all kinds of ways.
- speakerAnd and so I think it's really
- speakerimportant as we think about history,
- speakerright, that there are parallel
- speakerhistories and
- speakerand white supremacy
- speakerand Christian supremacy means that
- speakerwhite Christian history tends to be
- speakertold in in a
- speakerdominant way.
- speakerBut those other histories are there.
- speakerAnd we need to know and actually,
- speakeryou know, especially in times like
- speakerthese, with the kind of president
- speakerthat we have and uprisings
- speakerof white supremacy,
- speakerthe reckless abandon
- speakerof white supremacy these days,
- speakerthere's so much that we need to
- speakerlearn from folk who have been
- speakerresisting for generations.
- speakerRight? Like that's a legacy that
- speakerwe as white Christians need
- speakerto know different ways of resisting
- speakerwhen we don't have that kind of
- speakerinstitutional power.
- speakerThe wisdom is there.
- speakerThe question is whether we honor it
- speakeror whether we try to start from
- speakerscratch or pretend we invented it,
- speakeror like all the other ways we can
- speakerappropriate knowledge and wisdom.
- speakerAnd so,
- speakerso. So yeah.
- speakerSo this, this trans organizing has
- speakerbeen such a blessing in my
- speakerlife in terms of the extraordinary
- speakerpeople. With one friend I talk about
- speakerfour and five dimensional people,
- speakerright? Like it's not just that folk
- speakerare organizing around
- speakertrans gender identity.
- speakerThey're not just organizing around
- speakerrace. They're not just organizing
- speakeraround religion,
- speakerlike four and five dimensional
- speakerpeople who integrate all of these
- speakerthings into our lives.
- speakerAnd I want to be a four
- speakeror five dimensional person, right?
- speakerThat I'm not just a one issue
- speakerkind of person that like how do we
- speakertalk about the borderlands and
- speakerimmigration and how does that relate
- speakerto gender identity?
- speakerAnd how does disability justice
- speakerand understanding our bodies relate
- speakerto transgender issues?
- speakerAnd it's all connected.
- speakerLike in the end it's all connected.
- speakerAnd it's extraordinary when
- speakeryou can apprehend those connections.
- speakerIt's so rich.
- speakerAnd yet that's not how the
- speakerconversation is typically
- speakerframed. We're usually talking about
- speakergender over here, and there's the
- speakerrace issue over there and
- speakersomething else over here.
- speakerBut they're really are.
- speakerConnected in part in our bodies.
- speakerRight? They're all connected in our
- speakerin our very bodies because we
- speakerexperience them.
- speakerIn us. So, yeah.
- speakerSo this transgender organizing has
- speakerchanged my life. It's been quite a
- speakerblessing.
- speakerSo like kind of the work of Trans
- speakerFaith now to kind of try to find
- speakerthose intersections.
- speakerYou promote those kind of
- speakerconversations?
- speakerYeah, well, there's there's really
- speakernobody else working on a national
- speakerlevel, multi-faith,
- speakermulti-racial, multi-gender
- speakerin the way that we are in a in a
- speakervery anti-colonial,
- speakerculturally competent way.
- speakerSome people sort of dabble,
- speakerespecially when there's funding
- speakeravailable. Folks dabble.
- speakerBut folk know that,
- speakeryou know, we've had there's there's
- speakerone friend who I met
- speakerwhen she was unemployed
- speakerand out of seminary and not sure how
- speakershe was going to support her family.
- speakerAnd I knew her when she was
- speakerhistorically hired at this major
- speakerLGBT organization.
- speakerAnd I knew her when she was
- speakerhistorically hired at this major
- speakerLGBT organization.
- speakerAnd I knew her after
- speakerthat organization blew up.
- speakerRight. And and and
- speakerso we're that organization that
- speakerdoesn't isn't interested.
- speakerWe care about your title and what
- speakeryou're doing.
- speakerBut moreover, I care about
- speakeryou as a person and
- speakerwho you were before and who you are
- speakerafter.
- speakerBecause a lot of folk who make
- speakerheadlines,
- speakerright, there's
- speakerthat 15 minutes or two years
- speakerwhen somebody is famous and
- speakerLouis likes to talk about the hula
- speakerhoop, like, what's the current fad
- speakerthat somebody wants to talk about?
- speakerOr the story that's sort
- speakerof hot in the moment.
- speakerBut but we all have lives after that
- speakermoment has passed where we
- speakerstill struggle to find employment
- speakerand most of our folks struggle to
- speakerfind employment
- speakerand, you know, even highly
- speakerqualified, high functioning folk
- speakerwho for various reasons,
- speakeryou know, whether being outspoken,
- speakertrans or
- speakerdiscrimination or whatever it is,
- speakeryou know, struggle to find
- speakeremployment. And so so we're we're
- speakerthat a place that, you know,
- speakera big chunk of what we do is just
- speakerbehind the scenes support for people
- speakerwho are doing extraordinary
- speakerfive dimensional work.
- speakerRight? We're fiscal sponsors of the
- speakerBlack Trans Prayer Book.
- speakerIt's an amazing project.
- speakerAnd like, where else would they
- speakerhouse something that integrates
- speakerbeing Black and trans and having
- speakera spiritual life?
- speakerAnd and so
- speakerwe do educational work.
- speakerWe attend conferences, we do
- speakera lot of relational work
- speakerand mostly just try to occupy in
- speakersome sense that that intersection
- speakerthat, you
- speakerknow, our our new tagline is we are
- speakerbetter together, right?
- speakerLike if
- speakerthe way that nonprofit industrial
- speakercomplex is structured encourages
- speakerus to be in silos, right?
- speakerTo be in my little Presbyterian
- speakersilo.
- speakerAnd it's important the work that
- speakerMore Light Presbyterians does and
- speakerCovenant Network that within the
- speakerdenomination, the silos are
- speakerimportant too.
- speakerBut it's still a silo.
- speakerAnd I'm we tend to be that person
- speakerwho says, okay, there's this
- speakerEpiscopal person who's working on
- speakerdiscrimination against trans women.
- speakerAnd I just introduced her to someone
- speakerin the UCC and
- speakerwe're talking about connected, you
- speakerknow that I'm a person
- speakerthat and we're an organization
- speakerthat people come to to say like, who
- speakerelse is doing this thing
- speakerthat helps break open the silos
- speakerand then learn from each other,
- speakerparticularly around religious
- speakertradition, even within Christianity,
- speakerthe denomination silos
- speakerand around race and
- speakerculture as well, right?
- speakerSo to connect the transgender
- speakerJews and the transgender Christians
- speakerand the Two-Spirit folk of
- speakertransgender experience.
- speakerAnd one
- speakerof the things that I did
- speakerin 2009
- speakerwas co-found
- speakerthe Spirituality Track at
- speakerthe Philadelphia Trans Health
- speakerConference.
- speakerIt's now called the Philadelphia
- speakerTrans Wellness Conference.
- speakerBut that was another really on the
- speakerground place where I met,
- speakerlearned about trans folk very
- speakerclearly. It's a conference.
- speakerIt's the largest transgender
- speakerspecific conference in the world.
- speakerAnd it's it's a place where there's
- speakerconversations about mental health
- speakerand there's conversations about
- speakerphysical transition and dating
- speakerand spirituality is in there, right?
- speakerAnd, you know,
- speakerjust about anything under the sun
- speakerthat you can talk about.
- speakerAnd so I learned a lot from folk
- speakerdoing different kinds of trans
- speakeractivism, and
- speakerthat was a great place to bring
- speakertogether trans
- speakerfolk on a multi-faith and
- speakermultiracial basis.
- speakerSo that's another location where
- speakersome of that happened.
- speakerI think you've pretty much covered
- speakereverything that I have here.
- speakerI'll just ask a couple more
- speakerquestions.
- speakerIs there anything I mean, you've
- speakerjust received so many kind
- speakerof awards and praise for your
- speakeradvocacy work.
- speakerIs there anything looking back kind
- speakerof over your career that you feel
- speakerproudest of?
- speakerHmm.
- speakerProudest might not be the right word, but
- speakersomething that stands out.
- speakerIt's it's complicated for me,
- speakerlooking back.
- speakerI have I have a lot of regrets
- speakerand a lot of pride.
- speakerIt's kind of mixed in
- speakerin a similar way to these legacies,
- speakerright?
- speakerI feel like I feel
- speakerlike the movement is at this
- speakerpoint of wanting to tell the stories
- speakerof way back when.
- speakerAnd I'm a little bit like,
- speakerwhoa, but we ain't done yet, come on
- speakery'all.
- speakerAnd there's certainly generational
- speakerlike I understand some of the
- speakerreasons for it and the
- speakeralleged success of marriage
- speakerequality, which of course,
- speakereverything's being rolled back by
- speakerthe current administration.
- speakerAnd we have a new Supreme Court that
- speakercould undo a lot of things that were
- speakerdone.
- speakerBut there's sort of this victory lap
- speakerthat seems to happen.
- speakerAnd for trans folk and for people
- speakerof color in
- speakerparticular, like we're
- speakerjust not there
- speakerand there's still just
- speakertransgender employment
- speakerdiscrimination is a very real thing,
- speakeras well as people of color
- speakerhaving a hard time finding work
- speakerin the industry.
- speakerAnd so we want you know, there's a
- speakerway that the movement, both secular
- speakerand religious, likes to want to
- speakertrot us out for photo ops, right?
- speakerTo show their trans folk, show their
- speakerpeople of color, show the trans
- speakerpeople of color.
- speakerBut then when you're like, but who
- speakerare you hiring?
- speakerYou didn't reach out.
- speakerYou didn't even reach out.
- speakerLike we didn't even know you were
- speakerhiring. You're hired somebody
- speakerconvenient.
- speakerAnd.
- speakerAnd that the advocacy is
- speakeruneven.
- speakerEven the cultural competence still
- speakertoday is uneven.
- speakerThat if you're an LGBT
- speakerorganization
- speakerbut you don't have basic cultural
- speakercompetence about what trans lives
- speakerare like.
- speakerLike how do you justify hiring
- speakerpeople that don't have that cultural
- speakercompetence?
- speakerThere are lots of trans folk who
- speakerhave, who can talk about sexual
- speakerorientation and gender,
- speakerbut a lot of people who are
- speakercisgender can talk about
- speakersexual orientation, but they're not
- speakervery good on on gender.
- speakerSo like, even if you're not
- speakerhiring based on identity, right?
- speakerBecause legally you're not allowed
- speakerto hire based on identity,
- speakeryou should be hiring for cultural
- speakercompetence in
- speakerthe things that are in your mission
- speakerstatement.
- speakerYou know, race is an issue that's
- speakernot necessarily in the mission
- speakerstatement of these LGBT orgs,
- speakereven though we give lip service in
- speakerwhatever way and may or may not have
- speakerthe cultural competence.
- speakerBut transgender is in the mission
- speakerstatements of these organization and
- speakerin the name of some of them.
- speakerAnd so to lack that cultural
- speakercompetence is
- speakeris is difficult.
- speakerSo I guess I'm most
- speakerproud and
- speakermost challenged both by
- speakertrying to be a voice in the
- speakerwilderness in a sense, like I
- speakeram. I'm kind of a loud mouth.
- speakerI think I've gotten a reputation
- speakerfor that. I probably I don't think I
- speakerhave that many honors compared to
- speakersome people because I
- speakerthink I've made people
- speakeruncomfortable, like leading
- speakernational LGBT leaders
- speakerin religion, uncomfortable
- speakerregularly.
- speakerI finally came up with a
- speakerlike a closing, you know, you say
- speakerwith gratitude or sincerely
- speakerat the end of a note, and I started
- speakerwriting awkwardly yours
- speakeron some of these emails because I
- speakerwas just like, how can I lighten
- speakerit up and acknowledge that
- speakerI'm like, I know you're
- speakerdoing the thing that people
- speakerexpect you to do in white Christian
- speakerorganizing, but like, I'm
- speakerover here with my Black trans elders
- speakergoing like, Come on now,
- speakerI can't.
- speakerI can't split myself apart like that
- speakeranymore. Like, these folk are a part
- speakerof me.
- speakerAnd so, like, awkwardly,
- speakerso I'm still learning how to
- speakerinterpret who I am
- speakerin a way that's more accessible, I
- speakerthink people get turned off.
- speakerI think people get scared.
- speakerI think people get overwhelmed.
- speakerI think people get intimidated
- speakerbecause I'm pretty uppity.
- speakerI'm pretty uppity about this trans
- speakerthing, I'm uppity about the race
- speakerthing. I'm uppity about the cultural
- speakerdynamics of like white civility
- speakerand how we're supposed to be happy
- speakerand smiling, even when,
- speakeras Audre Lorde put it, someone has
- speakertheir foot on our neck, right?
- speakerLike and
- speakerI've reached a point in my life
- speakerwhere I'm clear about that and the
- speakerthe the cultural dynamics
- speakerthat maintain these
- speakersystems of oppression, even among
- speakerwell-meaning liberals, right?
- speakerWho say they want to change,
- speakerbut then reenacts
- speakerthese cultural dynamics that make it
- speakerjust intolerable for folk to
- speakerto be in a space.
- speakerAnd so I guess I'm on a good day.
- speakerOn a good day I'm proud of being
- speakeruppity and I'm proud of rocking
- speakerthe boat.
- speakerAnd I'm proud of doing
- speakergroundbreaking work on
- speakertransgender organizing.
- speakerI'm. You know what I'm most proud
- speakerof? I'm. I'm most proud.
- speakerI am most proud
- speakerof the people who trust me.
- speakerAnd that's not something you'll see
- speakeron the website.
- speakerBut but
- speakerpeople who have good
- speakerreason not to trust white folk,
- speakerwho have good reason not to trust
- speakernonprofit leaders,
- speakermanagers,
- speakerwho feel like they
- speakercan talk openly
- speakerand honestly with me,
- speakerI treasure.
- speakerI feel like given
- speakerthe legacy of colonization and
- speakerracism in this country,
- speakerit's a miracle
- speakerthat white folk and people of
- speakercolor have any relationships at all.
- speakerLike, I just I think it's really a
- speakermiracle. Like, there's so much grace
- speakerinvolved in, even, like,
- speakerjust not being
- speakershot or something.
- speakerI mean, I don't mean that in a
- speakerjoking way, but.
- speakerThere's good reason for there not to
- speakerbe trust.
- speakerAnd so each one of
- speakerthese relationships,
- speakeryou know, and also with Christians,
- speakerwith with transgender
- speakerleaders who are parts of other
- speakertraditions, have good reason not to
- speakertrust people of Christian
- speakerbackground, people of color.
- speakerThose relationships are my greatest
- speakerpride and joy and and
- speakerhelped me survive.
- speakerIt's a very self-interested pride,
- speakerbecause I really do despair
- speakersometimes of like, oh, gosh, I've
- speakerspent 20 years in this work
- speakerand I and my people still
- speakerare on the outside
- speakerand I've been as close, I've been
- speakeron the inside.
- speakerAnd I yelled about it a bit.
- speakerAnd I mean, not just yelled.
- speakerI've organized. I've built an
- speakerorganization. I've, you know,
- speakershown up.
- speakerAnd on a bad
- speakerday, I have a lot of despair about
- speakerwhat I wasted my life on.
- speakerAnd those relationships
- speakerare what keeps me going then to say,
- speakerokay, but we're still here.
- speakerAs Miss Major would say we're still
- speakerfucking here. I'm quoting Miss
- speakerMajor.
- speakerBut that's the kind of wisdom that I
- speakerget, right? From this other lineage,
- speakerthese other lineages is,
- speakeryou know, she's been through the
- speakerringer. She's seen folk go through
- speakerthe ringer.
- speakerAnd and surviving
- speakeris success.
- speakerSurviving to tell the story
- speakeris success.
- speakerAnd so I don't always remember
- speakerthat, right? I want to
- speakeruntil I'm on some portrait
- speakeron some wall, I mean, right?
- speakerLike what are white standards of
- speakeruntil I publish my book,
- speakerI like, that's the
- speakerkinds of success that I was raised
- speakerup in but but
- speakerit's success to survive and be
- speakerin relationship and be in resistance
- speakerand live to tell the
- speakertale.
- speakerYeah.
- speakerYeah.
- speakerProbably something that we should at
- speakerleast mention for the historical
- speakerrecord, especially ecumenically,
- speakerthat we didn't do is what I was
- speakerdoing between that 1999
- speakerand 2007.
- speakerSo the commitment ceremony
- speakerI had in October of 2000
- speakerwas at Tabernacle and it was
- speakersemi-secret because
- speakermy partner was a United Methodist
- speakerminister
- speakerand a lesbian.
- speakerAnd
- speakerand so we, you know, were careful
- speakerwho we invited. The Methodist Church
- speakerpolity was and is
- speakersuch that people could be defrocked
- speakerjust for attending a wedding
- speakeror commitment ceremony as it was.
- speakerAnd so she was
- speakerquietly serving at First United
- speakerMethodist of Germantown
- speakerin Philadelphia as
- speakeran associate pastor assistant.
- speakerI forget what title it was
- speakerand running the youth program and so
- speakerforth. And after about two and a
- speakerhalf years after our
- speakercommitment ceremony, we were living
- speakertogether, starting
- speakerto talk about having a family.
- speakerWe wanted to do, you
- speakerknow, domestic foster care to
- speakeradoption.
- speakerShe said, you know, I can't
- speakerI can't keep teaching these kids
- speakerand not, and preaching these sermons
- speakerand not talk about what I'm learning
- speakerabout God at home with my partner
- speakerand how do I teach these kids to
- speakerlove themselves if I'm not able to
- speakerbe open about who I am?
- speakerAnd so she decided
- speakerwe decided that she would come
- speakerout as an openly
- speakerlesbian United Methodist clergy
- speakerperson,
- speakerand we thought
- speakershe'd be defrocked and we'd get on
- speakerwith the foster care process.
- speakerBut it was a two and a half to three
- speakeryear process, two and a half
- speakeryears.
- speakerShe informed her bishop.
- speakerHe said, Well, if you do this, I'll
- speakerhave to do this.
- speakerAnd some people
- speakerhave had a hard time with United
- speakerMethodist bishops not saying
- speakerwhat they mean and meaning, doing
- speakerwhat they say.
- speakerBut Bishop Weaver did exactly
- speakerwhat he said, and he didn't
- speakerlike it.
- speakerBut he did what he said and
- speakershe did what she said.
- speakerShe came out there was actually
- speakera documentary crew there.
- speakerSo there's a movie
- speakercalled The Congregation by the
- speakerRaymonds, who are kind of a
- speakerfamous video verite
- speakerdocumentary crew.
- speakerShe came out,
- speakertalked about our relationship
- speakerand.
- speakerAnd for
- speakersomewhere around two and a half
- speakeryears was an openly lesbian clergy
- speakerperson.
- speakerShe was eventually defrocked in a
- speakerchurch trial
- speakerthat made national headlines and
- speakernews,
- speakerand it was overturned on appeal
- speakerin the Northeast jurisdiction and
- speakerthen was reaffirmed
- speakerthe defrocking at Judicial Council
- speakerat the end of that two and a half
- speakeryears.
- speakerAnd so
- speakerit was it was a it's an interesting
- speakerpart of my history, right, because
- speakerI've become this transgender
- speakerorganizer.
- speakerI was already openly trans at that
- speakerpoint. If you went to the Trans
- speakerFaith Online website, you would have
- speakerfound, you know, and I'd been
- speakerpublished in the Other Side
- speakerMagazine, around OtherWise.
- speakerBut we made the strategic choice
- speakernot to talk about my trans gender
- speakeridentity. You know, this was a time
- speakerwhen, you know, our our
- speakermessaging coach,
- speakerour PR person was like,
- speakeryou know, don't say queer.
- speakerYou know, we really want to reach an
- speakeraudience that might be uncomfortable
- speakerwith the word queer. We're going to
- speakersay lesbian and gay.
- speakerYou know, and it was just kind of
- speakerlike a bridge too far to talk about
- speakergender when
- speakerthe story was really about this, you
- speakerknow, lesbian clergy person who
- speakerloves Jesus.
- speakerLike that was the story.
- speakerAnd that was what was important in
- speakerthat moment. But but meanwhile, she
- speakerwas being defrocked for being
- speakerwith someone who is the same gender.
- speakerAnd I'm not the same gender as her.
- speakerIf you really understand what gender
- speakeris.
- speakerAlthough legally, you know,
- speakerwe had the same marker on our
- speakerdriver's license. So,
- speakeryou know, that's like this
- speakercomplicated part of my history
- speakerwhere I'm kind of like a famous
- speakerUnited Methodist, even though I've
- speakernever been a member of a United
- speakerMethodist Church, I've been an
- speakerassociate member eventually.
- speakerBut,
- speakeryou know, I had this whole other
- speakerUnited Methodist life,
- speakerin a sense, and people
- speakerwho know me and my history
- speakerthrough that very public
- speakerand, you know, very public trauma
- speakerand.
- speakerYeah. And then came out of that and
- speakerand became more public about
- speakerthe, you know, more
- speakeractive and well-known around the
- speakertransgender stuff, even more so.
- speakerUm, and I never quite
- speakerknow how.
- speakerIt's hard to know who knows me how,
- speakerwhen I, when I meet someone.
- speakerSo somebody at church, uh,
- speakerwho I'd known for several years
- speakerand, uh, and
- speakersomehow it came up.
- speakerI forget how. I said, You remember
- speakerthat really famous the United
- speakerMethodist Church trial
- speakerback in 2004?
- speakerShe's like, Oh, yeah. That was us.
- speakerShe's like, That was you?
- speakerYou know, cause they don't, folk
- speakerdon't remember the names or connect
- speakerthe dots. And especially especially
- speakerlocal history and especially
- speakerMethodist history.
- speakerUm.
- speakerBut, yeah, it's
- speakerthis. It's this funny kind of.
- speakerI don't know if it'll be a footnote
- speakeror it's like this.
- speakerIs that in some
- speakerin some circles, that's what makes
- speakerme famous. In some circles, being
- speakerpublisher of The Other Side magazine
- speakeris what makes me most famous.
- speakerAnd in some places, being co-founder
- speakerof Trans Faith is what makes
- speakerme most famous, I guess.
- speakerBut they're but they're all a part
- speakerof me in the way that we
- speakerdescribed.
- speakerIs there anything else that
- speakeryou want to make sure we talk about?
- speakerMy daughter would probably be very
- speakermad if she
- speakerever listened to this and
- speakerI didn't acknowledge her existence.
- speakerSo after the
- speakerafter the church trial stuff was
- speakerdone in 2005, we had
- speakera final press conference
- speakerin the pumpkin patch outside
- speakerthe church. She was selling pumpkin
- speakerpatches, pumpkins to
- speakerraise money for a youth group
- speakertrip or something.
- speakerAnd and we had been
- speakeron hold in the foster care process
- speakerfor two and a half
- speakergoing on three years.
- speakerAnd they said the agency said we've
- speakernever had anybody in the process for
- speakerthree years, but it just it was
- speakerinappropriate to bring someone
- speakerelse's child into that story.
- speakerAnd Thanksgiving
- speakerthat year, we got the phone call
- speakerof what turned out to be Nevaeh,
- speakerwho was at the time seven weeks old
- speakerand still in the NICU
- speakerat Frankford Torresdale
- speakerHospital.
- speakerAnd and she came to
- speakerlive with us. And after about
- speakerthree years, she was finally
- speakeradopted. But not before
- speakerwe came, became really interwoven
- speakerwith her birth family, who's all
- speakerlocal.
- speakerAnd so you expect to
- speakerfall in love with a kid.
- speakerYou don't expect to fall in love
- speakerwith a birth family or be adopted
- speakerby the birth family of your adopted
- speakerkid. So there's this whole
- speakerother branch of our family now that
- speakeris is kin is family with
- speakerus.
- speakerAnd Nevaeh is now 13
- speakeryears old and a delightful
- speakeryoung woman who is
- speakerwise in her own ways
- speakerand who I really appreciate.
- speakerWho she's growing in to be.
- speakerAnd then meanwhile, my
- speakerBeth and I have divorced.
- speakerAnd so the divorce was finalized in
- speaker2015.
- speakerBut we continue to co-parent
- speakertogether in
- speakerin New Jersey.
- speakerAround Nevaeh.
- speakerThat's probably what I would get in
- speakertrouble for not saying. Nevaeh I
- speakerlove you.
- speakerOh, and I did come out to my parents
- speakeronce I was working at The Other Side
- speakermagazine and I not so
- speakerdiscreetly said, Here's
- speakerthis Christians and homosexuality
- speakermagazine. You should really read it.
- speakerHave you read it yet?
- speakerYou should really read it now.
- speakerApparently that's how I was like,
- speakeragain, not so subtle, like when you
- speakerreally think you're so
- speakercrafty.
- speakerSo they didn't quite say, It's about
- speakertime you told me, but
- speakerthey were kind of like,
- speakerokay, like we
- speakerworked it out and
- speakerand they've been extraordinary
- speakersupporters ever
- speakersince.
- speakerJust extraordinary
- speakerallies,
- speakernever wavering.
- speakerNo matter what kind of crazy stuff I
- speakerthrow at them that they don't really
- speakerunderstand. But we're going to
- speakerlisten and we'll try to figure it
- speakerout. And they and them pronouns.
- speakerOkay, I'm not, they and them.
- speakerOkay.
- speakerWe're going to we're going to work
- speakeron that.
- speakerIt's we're we forget, but
- speakerwe we try and
- speakerand so so yeah.
- speakerI have to also
- speakeracknowledge my parents through the
- speakerwhole process as well.
- speakerYou said before that your dad
- speakerwas really involved in the
- speakerPresbyterian Church.
- speakerDid that continue for quite a while?
- speakerYeah, he's still I think he stepped
- speakeroff session where they are now.
- speakerThey were involved in in Slidell,
- speakerLouisiana. I don't know that they're
- speakerin leadership there.
- speakerI believe Dad first went on session
- speakerat Silver Spring Presbyterian
- speakeroutside D.C.
- speakerThat was
- speakeroh, actually, when.
- speakerSo when I came out to them.
- speakerRight. I had been agnostic
- speakerand they stopped going to the
- speakerPresbyterian Church when I stopped
- speakergoing and started attending
- speakera Christian Reformed church because
- speakerthe greater Washington, D.C.
- speakerarea has more Dutch people and
- speakerChristian Reformed folk.
- speakerAnd so they got back in the
- speakerChristian Reformed community.
- speakerAnd when I came out to them,
- speakerMom went to the pastor there
- speakeragain discreetly
- speakersaid, What's the position of the
- speakerChristian Reformed Church?
- speakerThis would be 1994, probably
- speakermaybe 95.
- speakerWhat's the position of the Christian
- speakerReformed Church on homosexuality?
- speakerAnd he researched
- speakerit and got her a copy of the 1971
- speakerposition paper on homosexuality
- speakerfrom the Christian Reformed Church
- speakerwas, as you can imagine, was not
- speakersupportive.
- speakerAnd hopefully
- speakerI'm not telling my mom's story here
- speakertoo much, but I understand that he
- speakercame for a pastoral visit and half
- speakerthe conversation was about sexuality
- speakerand what it meant
- speakerfor her to love me.
- speakerHer then lesbian identified daughter
- speakerhadn't done the trans thing trans
- speakerclarifying yet at that time,
- speakerbut apparently half of it was how
- speakershe might have gone to seminary
- speakerif women were allowed to go to
- speakerseminary, and
- speakerat the time that she would have have
- speakerdone that. And so
- speakerthey found a again, a Presbyterian
- speakerUSA church
- speakerin the area, stopped going to
- speakerthe CRC.
- speakerAnd I think that's where Dad got
- speakerinvolved and was voted
- speakeron to session.
- speakerAnd eventually they moved back to
- speakerMichigan and
- speakerDad served on session for a number
- speakerof years at what's now
- speakerNorth Westminster
- speakerand I think he's still on the
- speakerbuilding committee or something
- speakerwhere he, you know, refinishes
- speakerfloors when they need him to or
- speakersomething.
- speakerSo they're both slowing down a
- speakerlittle bit. But and and he's
- speakertrying to step back a little bit
- speakerfrom from church.
- speakerBut somewhere I think
- speakeronce they were in Michigan was
- speakerwhen he was part of
- speakerthe General Assembly overture
- speakeradvocate.
- speakerAlong the way. I would have to ask
- speakerhim for the details, though.
- speakerI don't I don't quite recall.
- speakerSo, yeah, they've been
- speakerin Mom's, you know, worshipped.
- speakerI don't think she's been in
- speakerleadership.
- speakerShe quilts and makes,
- speakeruh, liturgical vestments
- speakerand whatnot with the, the ladies
- speakerof the church sometimes.
- speakerYeah. They've been incredible.
- speakerI think that might be a good place
- speakerto stop.
- speakerOkay.
- speakerThank you so much.
- speakerYeah.